Today I really wanted to write something flowery about how you deserve an exquisite life, and I believe that. However, for the last several days, I have been home with a sick kid, got the same virus and now am looking out the window at freezing rain. Frankly, as loving and nurturing as I am, I’m just not feeling it today. So, you get a gritty-for-me, sassified chat. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook lately that feel very judgmental and remind us that we’re responsible for our own happiness AND misery, to stop making excuses and that have a strong tone of “you only have yourself to blame,” etc. Here’s the deal: shit happens. Life happens. There are times when it seems things won’t go right, and there are times when life feels heavy. It’s what we choose to do with these times that really matters.
So, life happens. Life sometimes feels heavy. There are times when you won’t be able to make it to the gym, you will miss your meditation or you will eat or drink the “wrong” stuff. If you choose to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater, then you are choosing that. That is one choice. I will ask you this, and I know I’ve used this analogy before, but it works: if you are wearing a white shirt at a party and a drop of red salsa falls on it, will you pick up the whole bowl of salsa and pour it down your shirt? If you do, bravo/a for making a Powerful Choice! And if not, that is also a Powerful Choice (wink, wink).
You see, whatever you choose, even if you choose to walk in circles and not make a decision, you are making a choice. It is simple. When life throws some crap at the fan and it’s blowing all over, you get to choose: let it hit you, turn and run, grab an umbrella and cover up, or walk around the friggin’ fan and pull the plug. YOU are in command of your life. YOU get to choose how things will go down once they happen, and frankly, THAT is what really counts.
Here are 3 simple steps to deal with Life Happening:
- Breathe. When life happens, stop what you are doing and take a deep breath. Breathe in thru your nose, hold it for a second, and then breathe out thru your nose. Focus on your breath. When you breathe like this (in yoga: ujjayi pranayama) you do a number positive things for yourself, including bringing yourself into the present moment, lowering your blood pressure, slowing down your heart rate, releasing tension and keeping yourself from any knee-jerk reaction that may be associated with old programming that no longer serves you, if it ever did.
- Allow feelings. We often make the mistake of rushing to feel better in the moment of Life Happening. Sometimes we need to switch gears to un-do old programming, but often what we are really doing is stuffing-down our feelings and burying them. To quote a powerful book: feelings buried alive never die. Whatever we stuff down will ultimately back up on us. If we understand that we feel first, then think, then emote, it is easier for us to learn to breathe and rest-in to our feelings and allow whatever we feel to actually be felt. From there, we can heal. Also, remember that feeling feelings and expressing emotions are very different. In the moment you feel something, you get to choose what to do with it.
- Make a choice. After you take a deep breath (or 3, or 10) and have allowed yourself to feel what you feel, you get to make a choice. Choosing is a form of taking action. You may simply choose to change your attitude, and that is action. You may choose to change something - make an apology, forgive yourself or someone else, or rearrange your closet. Whatever you do, make a solid choice, and the universe/god/your source/your higher conscience will conspire to meet you where you are in that choice.
“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.” - Unknown
Whatever you choose, you will do it in a powerful way, and it will be the right thing, even if the outcome is not what you expected or thought you wanted. You see, life happens. Life brings us exactly what we need, when we need it, and we get to choose to experience it as a learning opportunity or as a heavy burden that makes us miserable.
I know you will choose wisely and you will choose whatever you need most, even if you are not fully aware of why you are making the choice.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
P.S. It’s still January, and I’m still offering FREE GOODIES. Have you asked me for a freebie? If not, why not? Contact me, and make sure you leave your name & email in the box at the TOP RIGHT of this page so you get your first batch of free stuff. Make sure you ASK ME for more free stuff!