Are you having any fun?

FUN

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all." - Woody Allen

Do you get excited about the weekend? Why? And, what makes Friday so special?  Why T.G.I.F.? What do you look forward to most on the weekends? I ask honestly, because I have noticed that a lot of people look forward to the weekend, seemingly because they will rest and be less busy, and yet they cram-pack their weekends with errands and lots of "have to" activities.

How busy are you? Do you take time to take excellent care of yourself? I mean, besides working out and eating "good" food (if you do)? Many people think that working out and consuming mostly clean foods is "good enough" to be considered excellent self-care. I certainly know a lot of people who also think this is enough.

In working with corporate groups, and with my one-on-one clients, I am hearing more and more about sleep deprivation and lack of time to read, write in a journal or have fun; and I just have to ask:   What's up with THAT?!!!

If you love being busy AND you feel happy, with an exquisite sense of fulfillment, then perhaps this is the pace you need and desire - if you honestly, truly feel fulfilled in all areas of life.

However, if you feel that something is missing, whether money, friendships, a romantic relationship, time to yourself, a sense of calm, peace and harmony...anything, even if it seems insignificant, it may be time to make a few minor adjustments.

Here are two easy ways to start having more fun, even if you think you don't have time, and you can start now, not wait until the weekend:

  1. Laugh more. Laughter lifts us up, lightens the moment and brings more joy into our lives. Listen to a podcast of your favorite comedian, watch a funny movie or t.v. show, call your funniest friend, or visit your funniest co-worker. Easy, right? And it doesn't take a lot of time.
  2. Make a fun date with yourself. Commit to take some time to go do something you've always wanted to do. Start with the easy, cheap, local "bucket list" item so you will actually do it. Put it on your calendar in ink and go do it. If you want someone else to join you, decide that you will do it whether they can make it or not. Remember, your happiness depends on you, so commit to yourself and follow-through.

Life really is meant to be lived and celebrated, so if you've fallen or knowingly stepped into the trap of not having time, having too much to do, or depending on others for enjoyment and fun, take a step back. Start with something simple, easy and cheap. Knock out all of your excuses by doing the easiest thing.

I'd love to hear from you. Are you having fun? Are you willing to commit to having more fun?

Please share what you do for fun by commenting in the space below.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

How Do You Show Up? Refine.

“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes reality.” ~ Roy L. Smith

When I was growing up, my parents and teachers seemed to use the word discipline interchangeably with punishment and consequences, and I used to have a visceral reaction to people telling me that if I wanted something, I merely needed to discipline myself enough to practice my craft every day. Now that I am “all grown up” and have some perspective, I agree wholeheartedly (now that I’ve gotten over my teenaged self’s knee-jerkiness). I’m here to share with you that if you understand why you want what you want, then the simplest way to achieve is to first make the decision, commit, make some adjustments and, finally, refine your habits. In my mind, excellent habits means committing to a certain amount of discipline.

Over the past few weeks I’ve written about making the decision, committing and making adjustments to how you choose to show up. We understand that it takes 21-35 days to create a new habit, so I hope that you have been taking some time every day to practice how you show up, and when necessary, revisit why you made the decision you made (to show up strong, confident, peaceful, etc.)

In my coaching practice, my clients learn a lot about habits. You see, the more we practice our new and good habits, whether for lifestyle, career, or relationship success, the faster we reach our goals. Practicing a new habit is a way to replace an old habit that no longer serves you, and to create an effortless draw toward the success you crave. Simply put: make your own life easier every day by making powerful choices to change your life.

In the interest of keeping it simple, I am offering an easy way for you to refine your choices in how you show up.

3 Steps to Refining Habits:

  1. Choose one new habit. Commit to work and focus on that for 30 days. Of course, there will be other things you will work on, but really focus on and commit to that particular one (eg., taking a deep breath before you speak - every time).
  2. Write it down every day. Breathe life into it by writing it down, or by speaking it out. This renews your commitment to it, and is a disciplined practice.
  3. At the end of the day, celebrate your achievements. At the end of each day, review your day, and make sure you celebrate that you have practiced the discipline of breathing life into your new habit. You can simply say, “I did it!” and that is a celebratory acknowledgement of your success. It IS that simple.

Give this a try. Share your journey with me by leaving a comment below. I would love to hear from you and celebrate YOUR success!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Are you ready to refine your choices? Want to go beyond blogs and videos? It would be my pleasure to set aside an hour to share a powerful coaching consultation with you. Click here to schedule your call.

“Refining is inevitable in science when you have made measurements of a phenomenon for a long period of time.” ~ Charles Francis Richter

Do YOU Experience Growing Pains? How Do You Know?

How do you know when you are experiencing growing pains? Young children often experience pain in their legs, the cause of which is difficult to pinpoint. Because growing pains is not actually a medical condition, doctors call it a “diagnosis of exclusion”. Excluding other potential maladies or injuries is the first order of business, and by exclusion, many parents find that their child is experiencing the general muscular discomfort referred to as “growing pains”. Consensus in the medical community is that bone growth does not cause pain. However, many children experience more growing pains during the rapid growth stages, into early adolescence. It is understood is that many children experience these pains after a very physically active day, and often for several days and nights in a row. Most doctors agree that the treatment for growing pains is a warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC, if you will (insert winky smile at clever reference to my initials.)

If we piggy-back on a child’s experience of growing pains and the doctor’s diagnosis of exclusion, we may apply this to our own experience as adults. Have you ever gone through a difficult time, and yet all other variables seem to be in place? I certainly have. There have been times when I’ve felt stressed, afraid and overwhelmed, and yet so much good stuff was happening in my life. By process of elimination (or exclusion), I often find that during these times, I am experiencing growing pains - a general discomfort associated with a sustained high level of activity.

Think about it. We grow and stretch, and stretch a little more, and leap and stretch, and duck and dodge bullets, and deftly maneuver around roadblocks every day. When you experience an unexplained sense of discomfort, or possibly pain, which could manifest in the forms of sadness, anger, frustration or apathy (however fleetingly temporary), it is helpful to run through your personal checklist of needs, unmet needs and possible adverse health conditions if you have any. If you turn up empty handed, give a nod to the idea of growing pains. Perhaps you have been so active that your whole being needs to rest and recuperate.

The doctor’s diagnosis of growing pains, and the parent’s remedy is simple: rest, warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC. We often barge ahead in life, rapidly barreling forward, without taking a moment to address some of our basic needs. We all need TLC, love, a massage and the equivalent of a warm compress. Reach out to those who are close to you. Ask for some extra support in the form of kind words, a listening ear, a hug or thoughts/prayer. At the same time, be kind and compassionate with yourself. Make sure you have attended to your needs. Pushing through the pain is sometimes recommended, and sometimes rest and recuperation are just what the doctor ordered. Know yourself well enough to distinguish what you really need.

If you want to learn more about establishing the mindset for growing thru your growing pains and achieving blissful success, schedule your COMPLIMENTARY 30 minute consult.

I am here by your side on your journey, cheering you on, applying the warm compress, and offering a lot of TLC. Know that you are fully supported in your dreams, and you WILL manifest them!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Lessons from the Cosmos (Flower)

 There is a certain beauty in wildflowers that is a little hard to put into words. I first became fascinated with Cosmos (Mexican Aster) when I was in graduate school in New Mexico. The feathery greens, bright punches of color and ability to thrive even under gross neglect seemed so symbolic, and in many ways speaks to stretches of my life experience.

The Cosmos flowers can stand from one to five feet tall and never require support, despite having a relatively thin stem. Cosmos are pest-resistant, and when fertilized, tend to grow more green than flowers. Even after days without water in triple digit summer heat, the flowers remain beautiful, and the green lush.

You may be wondering how in the world I am drawing a connection from neglect-loving, thin stemmed flowers to living an exquisite life. It is simple, and on this lovely Earth Day, it seems fitting to draw some connections from nature.

  1. Appearances can be deceiving. People often appear one way on the outside, yet what is inside is very different. I think of Audrey Hepburn as a shining example of a person who appeared very soft on the outside, and yet was possessed with admirable strength and conviction of character (after retiring from acting, she became special ambassador to the United Nations UNICEF fund helping children in developing nations). We also see the opposite: someone who appears very strong on the outside, and yet is suffering on the inside.  In both examples, what we see on the outside is quite different from the real inside story.
  2. You have everything you need, and ample reserves. There are times in life when you may feel depleted, as if you do not have energy or resources to continue. The truth is, however, that we always have everything we need, with plenty of reserves. Think of a time when you did something very physically challenging (for me, running or pushups), and in the moment when you wanted to give up, your body came through for you. You found the extra something you needed to finish, to get where you needed to go, or to feel virtuous about crushing a challenge. Whatever your reasons, my point is simple: often our brains scream at us based on old garbage messages, when in reality we have plenty of energy to keep going.
  3. There is no need to over-protect ourselves or our loved ones; we thrive and grow from our experiences. Sometimes people over-water and over-fertilize their gardens and end up with mushy, squishy mud. The same is true in life. You do not always need to go get more information before taking-on a challenge. You do not always need to gear-up for what lies ahead in order to protect yourself. Sometimes for ourselves and for our loved ones, we really need to learn to let go and trust. Trust ourselves, trust the process, trust our source.
  4. Stand tall, no matter how frail you may feel, no matter how strong the wind. Be flexible and allow yourself to bend, but not break. If you break, you know how to repair yourself already, don’t you? Stand firm in who you are, grounded in that calm knowing, and trust in yourself, the process and your source. You’ve got this.

You see, we are like the Cosmos; delicate yet strong, self-sufficient yet interconnected, vulnerable yet protected, flexible yet firmly planted. Know that you’ve got what it takes to accomplish anything you dream and reach an absolutely exquisite sense of fulfillment and unspeakable joy. You are worth it, and the journey is worth it.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

"Love is the only flower that grows and blossoms without the aid of the seasons."                             - Kahlil Gibran