Resolution Rejection: How to ditch resolutions and be more successful

Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek. - Mario Andretti

“I never really make it past mid-February on my resolutions.” 

“I know I should be doing (fill in the blank) but I just can’t get motivated.”

“I really struggle with motivation.”

“I have absolutely no willpower.”

“Once (fill in the blank) happens, then I’ll be happy/successful/fulfilled.”

Sound familiar? I know I’ve said each of those at least once in my life. There’s so much judgment in those statements. So much self-scrutiny. So much frustration and stuck-ness (yes, I made up my own word; I got stuck trying to figure out another way to articulate the essence of being stuck, but I digress). I hear these and other similar statements from my clients when they first come to me seeking a way forward. They are ready to expand their businesses and grow beyond anything they’ve ever achieved, but they are scared, and often floundering in that fear to the point of paralysis. Enter the coach - with love, magical fairy dust and a whole warehouse of tools, tips and tricks.

You might ask, “What does that list have to do with rejecting resolutions anyway?” Thank you for asking. Here’s the skinny: New Year’s Resolutions on their own are simply a statement of a hope or vision; “vision” assuming the person making the resolution proclamation has taken the step to envision the outcome of the resolution(s). Most people make resolutions and may write them down or declare their intentions on their social media pages, and yet have no plan to get there, ultimately landing on the never-ending treadmill of self-criticism and frustration, and quite possibly questioning their abilities overall. This is why I dislike resolutions so.

I advise that you reject resolutions, not because I am convinced that we are destined to fail if we set them, but unless we take the time to work all the way through the vision, seeing ourselves successfully completing in our mind’s eye, and planning the strategy from the end to the beginning, the determination and motivation most certainly will not magically appear. In order to cross the finish line, we need to train and practice and relentlessly commit to completion. Most people declare their resolutions in the excitement and rush to the new year, but peter-out in less than a month, and only 8% of all resolution makers achieve success by the end of the year. Those who “explicitly make resolutions” are 10 times more likely to attain their goal than people who do not explicitly make resolutions. What does that mean, exactly? This is where I can help.

A resolution by definition is the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. (Merriam-Webster). Therefore, we can assume that a resolution is the action necessary to change a particular behavior in order to achieve a desired outcome. We can stretch that a little to conclude that our habits and daily action steps are what will ultimately lead to behavioral change, and so, what we need is a plan that not only sets our vision, but also determines the daily action steps necessary to achieve the success we desire. 

If we are rejecting resolutions, then how will we ever get things done? How will we reach our goals and achieve the level of happiness and bliss we crave? In my mind, it is relatively simple, and will begin to feel easy once you get started. Below is an outline to get you started. In the coming weeks, I will be sharing more for each area.

In this order, and until it becomes habit to do so, define your goals and the way to achieve and surpass your hopes and expectations in the following manner:

1. Set your Vision. Get really involved in the outcome. Picture it. Write the story about a day in your life once you’ve achieved your desired outcome. Detail how other areas of your life will be positively impacted by achieving the outcome. This is Vision.
2. Get Determined. This is not a fight. This is not a struggle. This is an unrelenting desire and commitment to see your vision through. This is your inspiration. WHY is achieving this outcome important to you? What specifically will you gain? In understanding this, your determination will build.
3. Make a Plan (and stick to it). You may need to adjust your plan, but start with one. Once you have your vision and determination, the plan will help you feel less daunted by the mountain you are about to climb. My favorite method is to work the plan backward from the finish line to the starting line. Chunk it down into incremental (not baby) steps.
4. Get Strategic. What roadblocks will you likely encounter? (Hint: roadblocks are usually self-imposed; you’re welcome for that insight). What are you willing to do to work around those roadblocks? What happens if you get distracted or discouraged? What will you do then? How will you complete the daily steps to get closer to the finish line? THIS is your strategy. Specific work-arounds to roadblocks and specific daily inspired action steps.
5. Create Motivation. Notice I didn’t say “find motivation” or “get motivated”. Nope. Create it. Your inspiration will fuel your motivation, and sometimes that is where the good ‘ole “fake it till you make it” comes in really handy. How do you need to feel every day to take the steps you know you need to take to get closer to your goals? How will you feel when you cross the finish line? How can you create that feeling naturally? 

I invite you to take a few minutes to hand write your initial responses to each of the steps above for one of your goals. Start with one for today. Sit with your notes and contemplate how you feel. Allow the thoughts and feelings to marinate and become real to you. This is moving you in the direction of achieving your goals. Is this a resolution? Yes, AND now you are resolving on your terms. Set yourself up for success and see your vision through. 

Please share your thoughts and insights in the comments section below. I’ll be back to share more and to support you. 

If you would like to make sure you get the next article on how to set your vision, you can click here to subscribe to my email updates, plus receive a guide to achieve entrepreneurial bliss. 

Blessings. Gratitude. Love. 

NB: I only send emails when I have something interesting to share, so no worries about spam; I quite dislike spam.

Learn Everything by Doing Nothing: Inspired by a summer of learning by (not) doing

Every year in mid-June when my children’s school wraps, I imagine how productive I will be with a different routine, and every single summer I have felt frustrated and frazzled, wishing I had more time…until this year. I (finally) figured out the “secret” to knowing everything, and it is quite simple: sometimes we need to do nothing. I’ll be honest; I did slightly more than nothing, but a whole lot less than everything I had originally set out to accomplish this summer. 

I admit that I occasionally jump on the “Take Massive Action” bandwagon, even though that concept without proper direction goes against the grain for me. Let me be clear: we MUST take action, and sometimes that action will be “massive”. I believe that we are misguided in our interpretation of massive action, and as a result, we deplete our good energy while spinning our wheels, sadly not making progress on what matters most (and for the entrepreneur in particular, what boosts the bank account.) On that note, I will share with you how I learned “everything” from “doing nothing” this summer.

I did close to nothing for almost three months, and I learned a lot. I am grateful I listened to my intuitive sense and let go of the frustrating and unrealistic expectations I had been setting each year, making summer rather disappointing. This year in addition to letting go of unrelenting expectations, I thoroughly enjoyed a more relaxed summer pace with my children AND continued to grow my business in a smart, un-rushed manner. Interestingly, I managed this without barreling forward or being overly busy. 

Sometimes I forget the following, but when I DO remember, the results are magical. In order to learn by (not) doing, let’s consider the following process: slow down to speed up, zoom out and then take inspired action.

Slow down to speed up. Identify your objectives and WHY they are important to you. Before charging ahead, pause and reflect to gain clarity about what you want and why you want it. I made a decision many years ago that I would spend time with my children while they are young and actually want to spend time with me. That proves challenging any time of year, especially in the summer, when childcare and camps are costly and sometimes difficult to find. This year when my children and I discussed what they wanted most out of camps and daytime programs, they shared that they preferred to have a “chill” summer, where, when they were at camp, they wanted to learn something that would enhance their lives. 

I am able to work mostly from home, and my offspring are old enough to entertain themselves for a few hours at a time, so I am generally able to accommodate this. However, despite being happy to allow for a “chill” summer for my peeps, I confess that I panicked at the thought of them being home so much. I worried how I’d get everything done with them asking for food, shuttle service or access to my computer and phone in regular intervals. Then I remembered to ask myself what I want most, and how that fits the bigger picture.

I want to make a living that provides a comfortable lifestyle, so I leaned back, took some deep breaths and reminded myself of why I designed my career around my life instead of life around career. This has taken some sacrifice, late nights and bullet sweating, yet I continually come back to this: I want to serve people in developing their life and career in a way that honors their highest desires, and the best way I can authentically provide that service is by doing the same for myself. 

Remembering my clear objectives and WHY - to help people to take control of their time, energy and success - helped me get back on track and maintain perspective. I believe that we all deserve the opportunity to feel successful and enjoy the fruits of our labor. We can have ‘it all’ without buying-in to the idea that we need to give something up in order to achieve. Why not have it all? (Being realistic, but a stretch, of course. I do not have access to fairy dust or unicorns.)

When getting clear on your objectives and WHY, ask yourself: 

• What do I want to achieve? 
• Why is this important to me? 
• What impact will achieving this outcome have on other areas of my life? 
• Specifically, what benefits will I gain? 

(Note that it is perfectly acceptable to be a little “selfish” here; the clearer you get, the more energy and time you free up to share with others.)

Zoom out. Once you are clear about your objectives and WHY, look at your one year plan from the 10,000-foot perspective. When I realized that coordinating summer camps and daytime activities for my children meant rarely having more than a few hours a day to work without interruption, I looked at my whole life and business picture rather than focusing on not having time to get work done in the summer. Here’s what I learned: when I’m hyper-focused and clear about what really needs to be done, I am more productive. I sort of already knew this, but couldn’t see past the panic of “not having enough time” in that moment. Boy, am I glad it passed!

In a wonderfully thoughtful article in The Economist about why people are so busy, I learned that the “problem” of not having enough time relates primarily to living in the wealthy first world, and some of this “problem” is a matter of how we allocate our time according to our skewed perception of this valuable, non-renewable resource (this is grossly over-simplified; I highly recommend that you read the article). What can we do about this dearth of time? For starters, slow down, get dreamy once in a while to get a clear picture of what we want, and why we want it. 

How will we know if we have achieved our objectives if we don’t know what they are, and how can we better allocate our precious resources if we do not know where to send them?

Once we have clarity we can now ask:

• What needs to happen so that I feel completely happy and satisfied with my results one year from today? 
• What actions am I willing to take to achieve this objective? 
• What roadblocks do I regularly encounter? 
• What actions am I willing to take to work around roadblocks?

You may notice the word “actions” making an appearance. Yes, now that we are clear and know what barriers we might encounter and how to work around them, it’s time to take action. I call this taking Inspired Action Steps. Take the one year view, see where you want to go, and work your solution and action steps backward from there. Stretch yourself, and stay realistic. What steps can you take every day to get 1% closer to your objective? Did you know that leaning back, observing and listening to your intuitive sense is considered taking action? Likewise, calling procrastination and self-sabotage “intuition” is also taking action, although that action will not help you reach your objectives. You have been warned. 

Once you are clear, the steps to take will become increasingly obvious, continually feeding the waterwheel of success and abundance (notice, there is nothing about trudging ahead and pushing against resistance or fighting any kind of fight.)

Take Inspired Action. A Lifehack article about taking massive action reminded me that taking action the smart way can boost motivation. Smart action is the inspirational thread to motivation. Sometimes we lack motivation, and then we feel inadequate and flawed, which can cause us to stall or not begin at all. Some super humans are possessed with excellent self-starting, seemingly flawless, highly-disciplined action-taking abilities. The rest of us mere mortals can hack their abilities by learning to tap our inspiration to fuel motivation. What better way to take action than by being smart about it? Remember to be realistic, but stretch yourself. We mortals are funny; if a task seems too hard we most probably will not get started, and if it seems too easy, we will likely put it off until we are under major pressure to finish. To bypass this potential roadblock, we can challenge ourselves, achieve, raise the bar, and challenge, achieve and raise the bar again - what I like to call the waterwheel of success and abundance, fueled by inspiration.

Try one or any combination of the following to help you take inspired daily action:

• Ask yourself: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now? 
• Choose 3 action steps you will complete by a certain time each day (master the mundane). 
• Daydream, journal or doodle daily for 10-30 minutes. 
• Create the feeling of joy and excitement before starting your day. 
• Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments at the end of each day.

With clarity and vision, we quiet the noise and hustle and bustle we have conditioned ourselves to believe is productivity. Once we are able to do this, we too will appear to have super human strengths and abilities. If every day you tap into your WHY and remember what is most important to you, even the most boring or tedious tasks can take on new meaning, and your productivity will soar. I invite you to do yourself a favor and give this a try. Do nothing. Get quiet. Get clear. Get inspired. Get more done.

If you would like to learn more about taking inspired action, schedule your free one hour strategy session.

Read the articles that inspired and informed this post:

Why is Everyone So Busy? The Economist (http://www.economist.com/news/christmas-specials/21636612-time-poverty-problem-partly-perception-and-partly-distribution-why )

How to Take Smart and Massive Action in 6 Simple Steps. Lifehack (http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-take-smart-and-massive-action-in-6-simple-steps.html )

Listen to Olivia Gamber interview me about Mastering Your Mindset and taking Inspired Action. (http://occupationalolivia.com/mastering-your-mindset/#more-425 )

I Believe I Can Fly! Or...Not

It is said that our beliefs and thoughts shape our experience. If this is true, and I believe it is, then I pose this question: 

Do your thoughts and beliefs about success, your abilities and what is really possible help or impede your progress toward your goals and dreams?

Before you answer that, I will break it down by asking another question. Have you ever examined your belief system? I am not talking about your moral, spiritual or religious beliefs necessarily, but what you believe to be true ABOUT YOU. In one of my sessions with my coach, I was a little shocked, and slightly amused (more like horrified), at what I actually believed to be true. When I heard the words pass my lips, I was completely dumbfounded. 

How could I, a self-aware, positive-Polly coach have such skewed beliefs? 

Well, I learned that I held these beliefs because I had never slowed down long enough to even know they existed. However, something interesting happened; once I spoke the words and thoughts out with my coach, I realized that they were pure garbage, but had been swimming around in my mind, taking up valuable space, for years. No wonder I felt like I was struggling, even when I wasn’t.

So let’s circle-back to the original question, and I will break it down even more, by asking more questions, because, well, I’m a coach and that’s what I do. This process of slowing down - gaining insight and clarity - works like magic in helping clear the pathway toward faster, more abundant, and exquisite fulfillment. So stay with me, and grab a pen and paper (or electronic device if you’re fancy).

The original question: Do your thoughts and beliefs about success, your abilities and what is really possible help or impede your progress toward your goals and dreams? 

Now becomes 3 questions: 

1. What are 3 beliefs you hold about success (yours, that of others, and success in general)? 
2. What are 3 beliefs you hold about your abilities? (skills, strengths, habits, potential/limitations)
3. What are 3 beliefs you hold about what is really possible? (can you really fly? Is it really possible to meet your financial and career goals?)

Without self-judgment (we do enough of that already, don’t you think?) go back and look at your answers. Next to each answer, write whether each of those beliefs is Helpful (H) or Impeding (I) in your progress toward your goals and dreams. This is where it can get tricky for the typical high-achiever…DO NOT JUDGE or try to “fix” this. Just observe. Get curious. If you start to feel anxious, upset or frustrated, say my favorite word in any language, “Hmmmmmmm.” This will pause you long enough to stop the monkey dance in your brain, and will give you a moment to breathe, stop what you are doing and just observe. If you must, ask yourself, “I wonder….what is the exact opposite belief? How does that feel?” and then move on.

Will there be work to be done after you have examined your beliefs and perhaps encounter some that do not serve you in reaching your highest aspirations? Likely, yes. Here’s the deal, though: by raising your awareness, you are taking your power into your own hands rather than leaving your power in the hands of your ego (the “voice of reason” in your head trying to keep you “safe” by holding you back from really reaching your highest self - your genius).

Once you have taken some time to examine your beliefs and get curious about them, you will be better equipped to dis-create/crush/annihilate what no longer serves you and replace with upgraded, healthier, more successful thoughts and beliefs. Once there, you now you can update your story and write your new vision of success. Go you!

I wish you the best of success as you sort out your belief systems and choose to replace impeding beliefs with helpful beliefs, one at a time.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love. 

Don’t Know What You Want? How can you know where you are going?

**This is the first of 8 articles on gaining clarity to create success**

Does this title strike you as odd? It seems all too obvious, yet there are so many times when creative, wide-eyed entrepreneurs come to me, feeling frustrated and beaten-down, or like a failure, because they’ve been working so hard and haven’t met any of their goals yet. Some well-meaning friends and family might advise getting a “real job” or keeping their “chin up” or have maybe even heard this story of frustration and almost making it so many times that they just don’t get it, and cannot or will not listen any more. 

Guess what? Those who have never started a business from a “crazy” idea, with no money, a plan sketched-out on a bar napkin or scratch paper, just won’t understand. Take heart, you are not alone. I started my coaching business at the bidding of a colleague, who was the fourth person who suggested I should become a coach. I went and got a certification and registered an LLC with not much thought beyond wanting to help people. I had no seed money, and even less marketing. Crazy, I know.

Do I recommend this? Um…not really. But this is the way a lot of entrepreneurs start their businesses. Otherwise the ideas will swim around in their heads for years, causing them to wonder, “What if I had done that?” The typical entrepreneur doesn’t have brain space for those kinds of thoughts. So, they leap. And sometimes they (we, I) land flat on their (our, my) face. It’s OK. They (we, I) pick themselves (ourselves, myself) up and try again. One of the most endearing/frustrating/dominant traits of entrepreneurs is tenacity, mixed with a little bit of “do it now, do it now, do it now” like The Little Engine That Could. You see, when you believe in something so strongly, it can be very difficult to let it go. So, we work with what we have. And generally, the success the entrepreneur seeks manifests after getting clear about what they want.

If you are considering starting your own business, you currently have your own business, or you are struggling in some way, the questions below can help you gain clarity about what you want. Once you are clear, then you can start to work on your belief system, particularly your beliefs about success, your abilities and what is really possible. When you build upon what you already know, you solidify your foundation, which ultimately improves your chances for exquisite fulfillment and success.

My clients and I work through a series of open-ended clarifying questions when we begin our work together. There is always a period of time when they need to slow down in order to speed up. Gaining clarity, crafting a plan and knocking-out limiting beliefs and self-sabotage thoughts and behaviors along the way ultimately pay off - big time. I invite you to ask yourself the questions below, and answer honestly. I recommend that you copy and paste the questions and print them so that you can hand-write your answers. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself.

Questions:

1. What do you like about what you’re doing now?
2. What do you dislike about what you’re doing now?
3. What is the gap between where you are and where you want to be?
4. Why is it important to you to achieve your goals?
5. How much is achieving your goals worth to you (in terms of money, time, energy, effort and freedom)?

Next post I will guide you on establishing your belief system, and how to work around (usually, self-imposed) roadblocks to your success.

I wish you the best of success as you find your way into what you really, truly want. 

Blessings. Gratitude. Love ! TLC

If you would like to learn more about getting crystal clear on your goals and vision, and create the actions steps to achieve beyond your wildest imagination, schedule your complimentary 60 minute powerful coaching call.

N.O. - The one word entrepreneurs need to use relentlessly

You: Entrepreneur, go-getter, wired for success. You are very excited by and willing to take risks, and you say, “Yes!” - a lot. And sometimes you say “Yes!” to things when you really want to decline, or worse, when you feel badly turning something or someone down. After you have said yes more times than you would really like, you might notice that you feel tired, upset, overwhelmed or resentful, and you quite possibly cannot put your finger on what it is that is getting you down.

It’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you! It might just be time for you to access your inner toddler to bring back your powerful “N.O.”

The world of the entrepreneur is filled with so many shiny, sparkly opportunities, and enthusiastic types have strongly admonished you to say, “YES!” when an opportunity sounds like a great idea and figure out how later. To a great extent, I agree with this concept and believe wholeheartedly that when a real opportunity presents, you must continue to say yes. The kicker is to know when an opportunity that sounds interesting is worth putting time and energy into, OR when it will simply detract from the money on the table right now. As an entrepreneur, especially in the start-up phase, every dollar counts. So, get very clear on your big vision, and bring yourself back to the task currently at hand - the money on the table. These are the things you can immediately monetize to meet your needs, and when your needs are met, you have more energy to do other things.

One of the biggest catches to being an entrepreneur is an innate sense of wide-eyed wonder and awe at all of the possibilities. I even write and teach about limitless potential and staying open to all possibilities. Here’s the deal, though:

If you are not clear on your vision, then every single opportunity will distract you and impede your progress. 

You will fall prey to “S.O.S.” (Shiny Object Syndrome). Outside-the-box, creative, big-ideas, limitless potential…entrepreneurs embody all of these characteristics, AND are highly susceptible to S.O.S. because just about everything remotely interesting sounds like a great idea. Because of your magnificent creativity and ability to monetize just about anything, your brain starts to figure out how to capitalize on yet another cool idea. But, in order to avoid spreading yourself too thin, over-committing, or under achieving (gasp!), you need to get comfortable with relentlessly saying, “N.O.”

It is not only powerful to turn down opportunities or volunteering or whatever time-sucking distraction you may be tempted to say yes to, it is also liberating, and it will set you on the right path to success beyond your wildest imagination. You must be relentless in pursuing your goals and vision.

Once you are crystal clear on your vision, you will know immediately which opportunities will help or impede your progress toward your goals; that is a subject for another article. Knowing is not enough, however, so here are some simple ways for you to get comfortable with relentlessly saying, “N.O.”

Pause. Use my favorite word in any language, “Hmmmm.” This simple lips-closed, brain-pausing technique stops you just long enough to avoid a knee-jerk response that might lead you to a dishonest yes.

Express Gratitude. Follow the pause with, “Thank you for thinking of me for this opportunity. I would like to take a day or two to think about it. I will send you an email in the next X days.” (and then do it: follow-up is king, even if you decline).

Move on. You may feel guilty, or some part of your brain (ego) may be pining over the shiny object you have walked away from, but to the best of your ability, move forward. Get back to the money-making action items for your current project(s).

I cannot over-emphasize the power of saying “N.O.” (and only giving honest yes answers). Life is busy and hectic. Business can be busy and hectic, and sometimes stressful. The negative effects of stress are serious, and not to be taken lightly. When you “over-yes” yourself, you heap a whole load of heavy stuff on your own shoulders, and carrying that much extra weight will take a toll on your physical, emotional and financial wellbeing. Your success depends on your “N.O.”

If you would like to learn more about getting crystal clear on your goals and vision, and create the actions steps to achieve beyond your wildest imagination, schedule your complimentary 60 minute powerful strategy coaching call.

Intuition or Ego? 3 questions to ask yourself before taking action (or not)

Do you trust your gut? Yes? No?

How is that working out for you?

Have you ever had an idea that seemed to come out of nowhere, and when you acted on it, magic resulted? How about the times when you've thought you were having a gut instinct, acted on it and it was a disaster (and ultimately, yes, a learning experience)?

Sometimes when we act on gut instinct, or intuition, we are listening to our higher self, that knowing that directs us to make decisions even when they seem illogical or even risky. Other times we tell ourselves that we are trusting an intuitive nudge, but deep down, we know we are letting the ego and our fears get the better of us. And then the regret and negative self-talk and small, victim mentality start up.

Just last week I felt an intuitive nudge that I nearly passed-off as "entrepreneur S.O.S." (Shiny Object Syndrome) distraction because I was hell-bent on finishing a blogpost that I left me feeling completely uninspired. Instead of ignoring and plowing-through I paused and reflected for about a minute, and asked myself these 3 questions (Use your thumb for 1, forefinger for 2 and middle finger for 3 so that you really get this into your system)

1. What’s up? This will get that monkey in your head to stop dancing and prancing for a moment, and will give you a minute or two to reflect. Simple? Yes. Easy? Hell yes! (Don’t you think enough “life stuff” is hard?) 
2. Is this distraction/brilliant idea helpful or impeding to my progress (on this thing I’m working on right now)? Be honest. Are you procrastinating or fearful of finishing what you’re currently working on? If not, then quickly make note of your brilliance and say to yourself, “This amazing idea will still be there when I am ready to act on it.”
3. What now? Get back to work. Finish the task and then give yourself permission to look at the “sparkly” thing that got your attention. Set a time limit and a timer for 30 minutes. Trust me; when we actually complete things, we create momentum, and with momentum, we feel better, and when we feel better we make better choices.

After reflecting on those questions, I realized that the intuitive nudge was my higher self telling me that the blogpost I was trying to force wasn't tapping into my creativity OR my passion, and so I ditched it and uploaded a previous blog from my website to my LinkedIn Pulse page. What happened after that was, and continues to be, mind-blowing. 

The blogpost was featured in the Entrepreneurship & Small Business section of LinkedIn, and the reads, likes and comments went crazy. In the first day, there were over 1,000 reads, and as of this moment while I type this message, there are over 3,200 reads 8 days after posting. Now, you may be wondering why I tell you this, and it's simple: in addition to multiple requests for consults, private messages and kudos, the proof is in the pudding:

I leaned back, examined all that was going on in the moment that I had the thought to post the article, and took a measured risk to scrap what I was doing in order to "do the thing" that was niggling at me.

The moral is this: trust yourself, you know more than you think you do. And be smart about that trust so that you're not allowing your ego to trick you into the self-sabotaging, S.O.S. foolishness that may turn out to be a learning experience, but could also be a time and energy suck. Know the difference.

Is it intuition? Is it procrastination? If you are an entrepreneur, you are probably faced with these moments every single day of your life. Why? Because you are magnificent and creative and gutsy…AND you may sometimes get derailed by distractions and incompletes. Stop that! Give yourself one or two minutes to reflect and get things out of your head when they pop up, then get back to it!

I wish you the best of success as you work your way into knowing when to keep going, listening to real intuitive nudges, and trusting yourself more and more to know the difference. Either way, you will learn something. And sometimes, you will open the door for magic.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love. ~ TLC

If you want to achieve beyond your wildest dreams (or beyond the limitations you can't seem to surpass) then why not schedule a one-hour complimentary consult with me to see if we can crack the code? One hour can change everything. Click here to schedule your powerful coaching call.

4 Reasons Entrepreneurs and Their Team Should Work With a Coach

In the corporate leadership world, it has become quite fashionable to work with an executive coach. While you may think that coaching should be limited to C-suite types at large corporations, these leaders are on to something. Working with a coach can add a valuable set of learning tools in your leadership development toolkit. A coach can help you match the right solutions to the challenges you may face in growing your business.

If you are an entrepreneur, you might not have given much thought to leadership development, if any at all, because you probably started your business with a grand idea of helping people with a product or service, not developing yourself as a leader. But the truth is, as an entrepreneur, you are in the leadership business, and rather than resist it, you could develop your skills as a leader and give your support staff the tools they need to support the growth of your business and your overall mission.

Below are four very compelling reasons for entrepreneurs and their team to work with a coach.

1. Establish a clear vision, and get your team engaged with that vision.

If you have struggled to motivate your team and staff members, know that you are not alone. Building a strong vision and goals, and helping your team connect with that vision will increase everyone’s success and fulfillment. (And we know that happy staff are loyal and productive.)

2. Honest and timely feedback on effectiveness of leadership and systems.

You need an unbiased truth-teller, and an objective view of how your leadership contributes to your overall success. Coaching will help you build on your strengths while your business manager and support staff learn to take charge of their contribution to the success and growth of the business.

3. You need someone to guide you through reflection and self-analysis.

Anyone who has worked with a coach will tell you that the best part of having a coach is the ability to clear the decks on a regular basis to think and strategize without distractions. This accelerates your development as a leader by encouraging you to reflect and grow, and your coach will offer you tips, tools and the benefit of the breadth and depth of their experience.

4. Help with improving your ability to anticipate, strategize and stay on track.

Maximize potential by improving work performance and team effectiveness. With the clear vision, feedback and appropriate delegation of responsibilities, each person will gain insight and will experience mindset shifts that lead to new behaviors and better results in all areas of growth: self, team and business-management. This encourages everyone to think bigger, act more boldly and realize greater possibilities.

If you want to achieve beyond your wildest dreams (or beyond the limitations you can't seem to surpass) then why not schedule a one-hour complimentary consult with me to see if we can crack the code? One hour can change everything. Click here to schedule your powerful coaching call.

3 "What If?" Questions You Need to Ask

View fullsize

What if??

I hear this question a lot, followed by all manner of frightful, worrying, utterly catastrophic outcomes, and yet hardly ever hear the potential amazingly awesome results that could come from taking a risk (or even taking one step toward that risk, for that matter).

On a mastermind call this week, I coined the phrase "Self-Sabotage Loop" for my own, and dare I say sophisticated (thanks to the ego always trying to outsmart the coach) brand of limiting and often debilitating "what if?" questions. As the words came across my lips, I had to laugh at myself, and then got very serious about what to do next to overcome and bypass the absurdity of the excuses I will often pre-fabricate based on a whole host of unknowns, just to avoid...um...what exactly am I trying to avoid? 

• Failure? Nope. I have failed a lot, and always bounce back higher, so that's not it.
• Embarrassment? Nah, most of my failures have gone relatively unnoticed to the outside world, so that's not it either.
• Exposure? Ooh...maybe. Oh gosh. Oh...oh dear. Yes. Maybe. Oh man. I've got some exploring to do in my next coaching session.
• SUCCESS? Oh, hell yes! Wait! What?! Avoid success? Now that's just crazy talk. 

The deeper I dig in my own personal development work, I learn that the biggest reason I procrastinate and avoid has more to do with upgrading my story from an undesired situation to the actual desired outcome. WHAT IF...it actually comes together the way I hope? 

Or, and this is good, so stay with me here:

What if it turns out EVEN BETTER than I ever imagined?

I have also learned in working with clients that I am absolutely not alone on this imaginary island of terrifying "what if?" questions, and although I am somewhat comforted, I prefer to issue a challenge to you, if you are willing to upgrade every single aspect of your life from mere excellence to absolute genius. You in? I sure am!

Here's how it works. You will ask yourself these 3 "what if?" questions and then let go. Answer if you like, and if you feel any resistance, hesitation or doubt, STOP trying to answer. Ask with open curiosity, the way a child might ask a series of questions, and then move on to something else. It's that simple. Ask yourself at the beginning or end of your day, or whenever contemplating doing something you feel afraid or trepidatious to start or complete.

1. What if…it’s amazing?

2. What if…my whole life changes? 

3. What if…I’m truly happy?

Remember to ask yourself with the openness and curiosity of a child, and allow your higher self (rather than your daily task-master, "practical" self) to go searching, then start to take note of what you notice.

Here is what you can expect. You will start to be more thoughtful about making decisions. You will begin to slow down before you speed up. You will relinquish some control, and your higher conscious will begin to search for answers, which will give you a chance to get out of your head and get some other stuff done. 

There is one guarantee I can offer: you will experience change by asking yourself these questions. The rest is up to you.

I would love to hear your experience after a day, a week or even a month of routinely asking yourself these three questions. Please leave a note, share your experience, and of course, contact me if you would like to experience a powerful one-hour coaching call with me.

Boldly Going...Where you want to go

“Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful.” – William Shakespeare

I like to live my life the way I like my coffee: bold, strong, multi-faceted and somewhat sweet, with a touch of indulgent, creamy goodness. The above quote really caught me because as I look back over the last few years, I see that through some difficult times and struggles, I have found my rhythm, I am living my life with intention, and I have become bolder. I still have goals I want to reach, and aspirations that need attention. I am a work in progress and have experienced a few blips on the radar screen, but as I observe where I am, I see that I have reached down inside of myself and accessed my strength, even, or maybe especially, in my more fragile moments.

If you really know what you want from life, and you are secure in who you are, you will live your life according to your own principles, and you will get your needs met. Make no mistake, diplomacy is key in most situations, and in no way do I mean to say that you should conduct “in-your-face” confrontations to get what you want from life. The boldness I speak of is derived from internal strength, virtue and goodness that cannot be easily shaken, and possesses a beautiful, warm subtlety.

A friend recently observed that some people’s confidence comes from within and some externalize their confidence to cover up what they are lacking in strength. I understand that one must derive boldness from an internal source in order to go anywhere, let alone to the unknown. In-your-face feels abrasive and uncomfortable, and does not represent true strength or courage; in fact, that kind of behavior usually masks insecurities and fear.

I am very fond of quiet strength. I believe that in knowing who we are, solidly grounded in our own foundation, we can be bold. In my youth, I had what I call “fake strength” that presented as cockiness, and a little bit as steam roller. It was a feeble attempt to protect myself from getting hurt, to build a tough exterior and prevent anyone from getting close to me. However, with life experience and maturity, I have learned to be quietly bold, and to let down that barrier and just be myself. To me, boldness sometimes means planting a seed, sometimes I “just do it” in spite of my fears; yet other times, it means standing tall in the face of something that seems threatening or scary.

Have you discovered your bold self? Are you ready to make some progress and move forward? If so, then keep reading. If you want to boldly take yourself where you have never been before, to where you really want to be, try this on for size.

“If you want something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” - Dr. Shaun Marler

1. Listen to Your Inner Voice. It is not always easy to know which way to move or where to place your foot in order to take the next step. It may take some time to figure that out. Take a few minutes to listen to your inner voice, and really listen to what it is telling you.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Dr. Benjamin Spock

Pay attention to your feelings, what your inner voice, or “gut” is telling you. When you listen to your internal voice, the part of you that really knows what you need, you can then allow yourself to expand beyond the farthest reaches of what your life has been so far.

2. Be Open to the Unknown. If you give yourself permission to expand, you will inevitably open yourself to all the possibilities, including the wide-open unknown. Meditate, write in a journal, take a class, or find another way to provide yourself the creative freedom to broaden your horizons. As you open yourself up, you will learn to listen to yourself more closely. When you have begun to really listen and trust yourself, you will step forward without fear, because beneath fear and uncertainty lies the inner knowledge that always tells you which step you need to take next. So, open yourself up, dig a little deeper, brace yourself in your core, and move forward.

3. Take a Step. When you know what you want, and you hear the inner voice say it is time to make a change, you will put one foot forward, take just one step, and you will know you are safe to continue. You will only get to where you want to be, however, if you make it happen. You must be the one to put one foot in front of the other and walk.

I once shared part of a recent struggle on Facebook, and when asked if everything was OK, I said, “Oh yes, all is well. Just processing, growing, opening the next chapter and pushing, pulling, crawling, leaping, shoving myself to the next level.”

We all struggle and have moments when we are lacking in confidence, for a variety of reasons. Whatever the reasons, know you are not alone, and keep on going. Move yourself forward, learn from your mistakes, and trudge ahead. Take the first step toward your bold self, learn to be quietly bold, and get yourself where you need to be.

Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, and keep your intention clear. When you are confident in who you are, your boldness will be natural, and you will take the first step effortlessly. May you be virtuous and good, bold and fearless in your life journey.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.