Ease for the Entrepreneur
Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to STOP WORKING SO HARD?
You will be happy to know that I have designed a system to help you take back your time, energy, success…and sanity!
If you are an entrepreneur…you are busy. Too busy to spend months or years trying to figure out how to take back or maintain your life (not to mention your sanity) while you build and continue to expand your business.
You have launched or are almost ready to launch your business, and you are feeling scared. And excited. And nervous. And hopeful. And wondering HOW to get it all done without working every waking hour of your life.
You feel good about who you are and what you do. You are confident in your strengths and abilities. You don’t want to sign up for a business school program, let alone pay for one. You simply want to understand how to have the most fulfilling and wonderful life and career possible.
You want to get clear on what you really want, and you want to learn from other professionals who have taken the GIGANTIC LEAP OF FAITH to become entrepreneurs. You want a plan to get you to that seemingly elusive place of happiness and exquisite fulfillment. No fuss, no muss.
But.....HOW do you do it? What works? What doesn’t work?
Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to STOP WORKING SO HARD?
You will be happy to know that I have designed a system to help you take back your time, energy, success…and sanity!
I have designed a simple system to help you get control of your time, energy and ultimate success so you are prepared to build your business with the right mindset in as little as 6 months. This is a MINDSET opportunity, not a business or marketing program (your business and marketing plan are on you and your tribe of trusted advisors, or we can talk and I can refer you to some amazing experts.)
Read the interview below to learn more about Ease for the Entrepreneur...
Q: How long have you been doing what you do and how did you start working with Entrepreneurs?
I have been an executive coach since mid-2010. I joke that I became a coach “kicking and screaming” after leaving the corporate and consulting world and being home with babies for 6 years. When I was ready to rebuild my career, I was re-thinking consulting since I had traveled extensively, with short notice, for long periods at a time - a lifestyle not fitting for my family and young children.
Trusted friends and colleagues continually encouraged me to become a coach, and I reluctantly worked with a coach to learn about career options and moving forward. After working with the wonderful Jodi Nicholson of Success Coach Institute, I became a Certified Professional Success Coach (CPSC).
Q: Who are your clients exactly?
Over time, I discovered that I absolutely love working with entrepreneurs, and so have honed my skills in this niche of amazing, inspirational people. In my one-on-one coaching practice, I work with established entrepreneurs who are on the brink of massive expansion in their businesses. Many of these incredible people are preparing to launch their grander vision, which takes a tremendous amount of faith, courage and serious gumption and tenacity.
My clients are big thinkers. They have HUGE VISIONS. They have a lot of drive. AND…they get easily distracted, feel like almost every opportunity is a great opportunity, and sometimes lack focus and energy. They often find themselves feeling over-worked and frustrated with their progress, no matter their financial success.
Q: What happens if you haven’t yet worked with people in my situation?
As a subject matter expert on clarity, direction and inspired action, I can help you get crystal clear on your vision of success. Once you have established your vision, the action steps will become more and more obvious, and you will write your plan. We understand that THIS is your inspiration, and that…
INSPIRATION + ACTION = MOTIVATION
Motivation is not inherent. Inspiration is. So we tap-in to your inspiration and get you taking “inspired daily action” - THE BEST motivational tool available.
Q: How are you different from other “Life Coaches”?
I would first say that I’m not your typical Life Coach. I am an Executive Coach who has developed a system to help entrepreneurs stop working so hard. What makes me different is that I approach business and success as I do anything else in life, including projects, relationships, lifestyle management and wellness. I am passionate about helping people find empowerment and harmony in a way that leads them to a feeling of exquisite fulfillment, with the understanding that from this feeling, we can create anything our hearts desire. My approach is holistic, and we examine every area of life, including sleep, exercise, water consumption, thoughts and other habits.
Incorporating my experience and applying the coach skill set, I will help you get very clear on what you really want, and you will write your personal vision of success - also called “updating your story” - which will allow you to take the inspired daily action steps to achieve it.
Q: What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of me?
My requirements and expectations are very simple: Show up willing and open. With willingness and openness, you can expand your vision, grow into it and manifest your heart’s desire. Truly. The “work” is easier, and feels almost effortless, when you are willing and open.
Q: What type of person is this program NOT going to work for?
A person who is not ready to take full responsibility for his or her success and failures would probably not be ready to do the “work” it takes to create unspeakable success and fulfillment (and, as a side note: I believe that failure is the best launchpad to our highest success). If excuses, procrastination and blaming are your game - and you are not ready or willing to change that - then you will not get the results you desire.
Q: What exactly is Stop Working SO HARD! Ease for the Entrepreneur, and what does it include?
Stop Working SO HARD! Ease for the Entrepreneur is a simple system of daily actions, mindset practices and course corrections that help the entrepreneur get very clear about their real desires. Once this clarity is established, then we start to look at regular roadblocks to success, strategize the work-around methods to getting past those roadblocks (which we could also call “self-sabotage”) and celebrate every success to keep the inspiration and motivation necessary to continue moving forward. This proven methodology incorporates years of study and practice in various schools of thought and their application, condensed into bite-sized chunks.
Q: Does this “Ease for the Entrepreneur thing” really work?
Yes! It will work under very specific conditions: you must be willing and open. Each person decides and commits to the level of desired success. It is that simple.
Q: What results can I expect?
First, show up willing and open. You can expect to leave the webinar with a clear vision of your own success, a method to access your genius (yes, YOU have genius; we all do!) and simple ways to stay motivated, even on the toughest days.
Q: How will we work together and what does the program entail?
First, listen to the webinar to learn more about the concepts. As I said, you will leave with a clear idea of your vision of success, ways to break through your own barriers to success, and knowledge of what inspires you, which will help you stay motivated.
During the webinar, I invite you to join one of two mastermind groups for entrepreneurs - one for “Emerging” and one for “Established” Entrepreneurs. If the opportunity resonates with you, then you will apply for the program by email, and we will take it from there.
Q: How long is the Entrepreneur Mastermind program?
Each mastermind group will work in similar, yet different ways:
The Emerging Entrepreneurs (EE1) will meet for 90 minutes, once per month, for 6 months. Email me for details and application if you would like to learn more about upcoming mastermind groups.
The Established Entrepreneurs (EE2) will meet for 2 hours, once per month, for 6 months. Email me for details and application if you would like to learn more about upcoming mastermind groups.
Learn more about Stop Working SO HARD Mastermind Workshops for Entrepreneurs!
Q: What’s the investment?
The webinar is a complimentary introduction to these concepts. YOUR INVESTMENT is your time, energy and undivided attention to the concepts and ideas presented. The more focused and attentive you are, the greater the benefit to you.
Q: OK, I’m ready to do this for myself, but I have a couple of additional questions. Can I call you?
Of course! It would be my pleasure to speak with you and answer any questions you may have. Let’s schedule a time to chat!
I look forward to meeting you and helping you expand and grow!
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
Two Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
I have tried to write about two different topics this week, and continued to bump into resistance around both. The first required research I didn’t really have time to complete this week, so I decided to table it for a few weeks when my schedule is lighter. The second topic is willingness, and what I find kind of ironic is that I was unwilling to stretch my own thinking enough to embrace the message that I really wanted to convey. Hmmm... This begs the question:
How do we know when it is appropriate to lean back, and how do we know when to push through to the finish?
My personal and coach-y answer is this: It depends.
There are so many times when it makes sense to lean back, soften the lens and see what we might not be seeing (you know, the forest for the trees thing). Actually, it makes sense to always lean back before pushing through. How often do you find yourself rushing to the finish, missing details? Have you ever pushed yourself to finish a project, or to “get over” a hurt, to later find that you have missed important details, or that you continue to feel hurt?
I know I say this a lot, though I also know at the very least that I will benefit from hearing my “steady drumbeat” message again, so I restate: Sometimes we need to slow down to speed up.
This is not the same as giving ourselves permission to quit or to stall progress, to procrastinate or make excuses for not stepping into our powerful genius. This leaning back gives us a moment to scan our energy, find resistance in our thinking (often manifested as physical pain, by the way - perhaps I will write about that another day), then address the resistance and take inspired action.
If you shoot an arrow, you must first get your eye very keenly focused on the target. Once you clearly see your target, you pull back on the bow, re-focus your eye in-line with the arrow, and finally release the arrow in the direction of the target. Imagine trying to shoot the arrow without pulling back on the bow. It would fall to the ground next to your feet, right? What if you take your eye off of the target as you release the bow? The arrow will launch in whatever direction you have it pointed, but will most likely land nowhere near the target. If you have a cramp in your shoulder or neck, how much energy is available to pull back the bow in order to launch the arrow with great speed and precision?
To avoid wandering too far into the metaphor weed patch, I will make this point: If you bump into resistance along the way, sometimes you can power through and just “gitter done,” possibly hampering your best energetic output. If you take your eye off the target (your goals, desired outcome, a dream you are making into your reality) you may miss it by a long shot. If you do not take a moment to lean back so you can get crystal clear on your goal, how will you aim, and will you even see the target? What’s more, how will you prepare yourself to build the momentum needed to get you through to the finish?
So, “it depends” is a simple and complex answer to the question: How do we know when it is appropriate to lean back, and how do we know when to push through to the finish?
It depends, really, on your answers to the following 2 questions:
- Do you know what you want and why you want it?
- Are you willing to commit to reaching your goals, even if you need to slow down, lean back, adjust, re-adjust and re-focus regularly?
It seems that I have circled back to willingness. One way to measure your willingness is by taking action. If you can answer question 2 honestly, and you answer “Yes”, then the easiest and most obvious “proof” is in your action. Here is where I may muck-up the simplicity of “it depends” and contradict myself: Sometimes we need to take a step even if we are uncertain if we are heading in the right direction.
Wait.....didn’t I just say to slow down, lean back, focus on the target? Yes. However, if you are prone to “Analysis Paralysis” (and you know who you are, right?!) and you painfully comb-over every detail, ultimately stalling getting started, let alone making any progress, you might need to look at your target, remind yourself of why you want to get there, and just go for it. This is a kind way of telling you to kick your own backside into gear, with love.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best,
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
When we are very clear on what we want and WHY we want it, then stepping out in faith is easy. Ask yourself those two questions regularly, and write down or speak-out your answers. Breathe life into your dreams and desires every day, and take at least one step toward them. You are actively leaning back and focusing by asking those two questions, so if you continue to ask and answer honestly, you will be performing the delightful dance of slowing down to speed up, and you know what? You’ll launch forward like a rocket. You will. Trust me; I’ve been there, I return there, I re-start there and I manifest from there. Know that you are fully supported in your journey, and have faith in yourself and your abilities. Stepping out in faith requires very little beyond understanding why you want what you want.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
If you want to get crystal clear on what you want and why you want it, click here to schedule a powerful coaching consultation.
Are you ready to commit to yourself? Do you want to go beyond thinking and talking about making change in your life, and flip to DOING? Schedule your complimentary powerful coaching consultation.
How do you show up? Commit.
Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind. ~ Bryant H. McGill
Last week we talked about deciding how you want to show up. Have you gotten clear on why you want to become your most powerful self? If so, then you are ready to start building momentum to get closer to your ultimate goal.
Before you dive in, take a look at the quote above. How do you feel about enthusiasm being the energy and force that builds momentum for your soul and mind? Make the connection. When you connect your heart and mind to why you want anything, you are much more likely to achieve your desired outcome if you infuse your action steps with enthusiasm (or as I like to call it: taking inspired action).
If you want to ensure that the momentum you build is productive, I invite you to pause for a moment to get straight with yourself. Now that you have made the decision to show up (strong, enthusiastic, confident, prepared, however-you-want-to,) it is time to make a commitment. If you want to move quickly toward your goals, then I invite you to embrace the idea of slowing down to speed up. In the interest of keeping things simple and easy to implement right now, I have laid-out 3 simple steps for how to commit to becoming your most powerful self.
- Decide on your desired outcome. Paint the picture of your highest self. Simply put, decide how you show up. Close your eyes and picture your best, strongest, most capable and confident self in a natural setting (work, home, social settings, etc.). Write it down. Write in the present tense to embed it into your mind’s eye and help make it real. How will achieving this outcome affect other aspects of your life?
- Keep it Simple, Sweetheart (KISS). This is where people often derail their success by over-complicating, adding unnecessary details and getting stuck in the “how” of it all. Simplify. Keep it simple. Focus on 1-3 attributes you would like to develop. The key here is that the simpler it is, the easier it feels, and the more likely you are to take action, which is step 3.
- Take consistent inspired action. What is one thing you can do right now to get 1% closer to your goal? Choose the easiest thing and do that first. Remember that if you take inspired action (refer to #1) and stay focused on the outcome you desire - showing up as your most powerful self - you will create momentum, and you may agree, momentum is your friend. Just take a step, and don’t worry about the rest.
It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. ~ Zig Ziglar
Your character helps formulate how you want to show up. Once you made a decision, you already putting the change in motion. If you change your mind, you can change your life, and so taking inspired daily action is the best way to move yourself closer to your goals.
It may seem a little challenging to track progress with something such as your character and how you show up, so I have come up with a very simple 2-step process to help you keep track, and get this: it will help you be consistent and take daily inspired action. Do you like that? If so, then keep reading!
How to track personal development progress:
- Write an action list of no more than 3 items to complete each day. My fabulous coach calls it the “Daily D.A.S.H.” (Definite Action Steps Happening). Write your DASH, by hand, every night before bed so you know how your next day is going to start. You can choose the same 3 actions every day, or other actionable items that you can complete by noon each day.
- Acknowledge and celebrate ALL successes. This is as simple as saying “I did it!” when you finish your DASH by noon. Or, you could share your succes by telling a friend or co-worker. The idea is to acknowledge that you have made progress, which is getting you closer to your goals.
Keep in mind that this journey to showing up as your highest self is a series of steps, and each step is taken in that moment, not in any other moment. Contemplate this quote by Eckhart Tolle.
Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now.”~ Eckhart Tolle
Next week we will make adjustments. I will show you how even though it is “off-track” 97% of the time it is in orbit, a space shuttle will always reach it’s final destination. There, you can exhale now. You don’t have to be perfect in every step. Simply take one step now. Then take another, and another and another..
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
Are you ready to commit to yourself? Want to go beyond blogs and videos? Let’s chat! Click on the connect button below, or email me directly to request an interview.
G.O.I. Are you willing to get over it?
Do you ever wonder why things happen? Do you feel like you need to dig deep, figure 'it' all out, and explain why you feel the way you do? Are you sure of how you feel? Are you allowing yourself to feel your emotions, or are you so intent on finding the explanation or solution that the feelings are lost?
Perhaps it's time to just "G.O.I.", eh?
Obviously, I know it's not that simple, and would never intentionally minimize anyone's experience. However, I read a blog by Nathan Otto this morning that got my wheels turning. He suggested trying something radical: ignore yourself.
Many are so focused on transformation that it may not have registered that the transformation could already be complete.
Are you willing to G.O.I., forget yourself, and feel your way into the next stage of your life?
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~ Helen Keller
Getting over it, forgetting the self...perhaps is not easy, but is more accurately described as an exercise in willingness.
I offer 3 simple steps to help you "ignore yourself", and you may find it curious that they all involve turning inward first. They are:
- Acknowledge yourself as transformed. NOW.
- Believe that you are valuable. NOW.
- Offer yourself compassion. NOW.
Courage Without Strength: will you carry on?
Lately I have been hearing about a lot about courage and strength. A friend who is going through a difficult time recently said to me, “I just have to be strong and carry on,” which got me thinking: do we really have to be strong to keep going? I would argue that it does not always require strength to keep going. I am reminded of a woman I worked with a number of years ago who was undergoing treatment for breast cancer. At one point, she was very ill from the chemo drugs, and in a moment of frustration and extreme fatigue, she told her husband she felt like she wouldn’t be able to carry on, to which he replied, ‘You have to; we need you.’ She said she experienced a renewed sense of courage to face this disease head-on and to carry on, even in the absence of strength. She was physically and emotionally depleted, and yet she gathered up her might and continued forward. The last I heard, more than 10 years post-treatment, she has been cancer-free and living a very happy, healthy life.
- Have you ever asked for help when you felt you didn’t have the strength to carry on?
- Have you not asked for help when you didn’t have the strength to carry on?
- What kind of outcome did you experience?
- Did you learn?
- Did you grow?
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don’t have strength.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
Even in the worst of times, we can gather our courage and carry on without strength. I would even argue that one of the most courageous acts we could undertake would be to ask for help when we feel we do not have the strength to face or manage something on our own. We are encouraged to be independent, even fiercely so, and yet, by nature we are interdependent. We need one another at times, and there is much opportunity for growth and learning when we ask for help.
I invite you to consider asking for a helping hand here and there to get comfortable with the idea of receiving. One day, you might truly need someone’s assistance, and you will be primed to accept and receive without resistance. If you are not so sure about this, consider times when you’ve helped a friend or loved one in need. Chances are, you did it willingly and without judgment. Remember the compassion you felt for that person, and offer it to your own self. Be open. Be willing. Ask. Receive.
Give it a try, and remember this question: How can it get any better?
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
Do YOU Experience Growing Pains? How Do You Know?
How do you know when you are experiencing growing pains?
Young children often experience pain in their legs, the cause of which is difficult to pinpoint. Because growing pains is not actually a medical condition, doctors call it a “diagnosis of exclusion”. Excluding other potential maladies or injuries is the first order of business, and by exclusion, many parents find that their child is experiencing the general muscular discomfort referred to as “growing pains”. Consensus in the medical community is that bone growth does not cause pain. However, many children experience more growing pains during the rapid growth stages, into early adolescence. It is understood is that many children experience these pains after a very physically active day, and often for several days and nights in a row. Most doctors agree that the treatment for growing pains is a warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC, if you will (insert winky smile at clever reference to my initials.)
If we piggy-back on a child’s experience of growing pains and the doctor’s diagnosis of exclusion, we may apply this to our own experience as adults. Have you ever gone through a difficult time, and yet all other variables seem to be in place? I certainly have. There have been times when I’ve felt stressed, afraid and overwhelmed, and yet so much good stuff was happening in my life. By process of elimination (or exclusion), I often find that during these times, I am experiencing growing pains - a general discomfort associated with a sustained high level of activity.
Think about it. We grow and stretch, and stretch a little more, and leap and stretch, and duck and dodge bullets, and deftly maneuver around roadblocks every day. When you experience an unexplained sense of discomfort, or possibly pain, which could manifest in the forms of sadness, anger, frustration or apathy (however fleetingly temporary), it is helpful to run through your personal checklist of needs, unmet needs and possible adverse health conditions if you have any. If you turn up empty handed, give a nod to the idea of growing pains. Perhaps you have been so active that your whole being needs to rest and recuperate.
The doctor’s diagnosis of growing pains, and the parent’s remedy is simple: rest, warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC. We often barge ahead in life, rapidly barreling forward, without taking a moment to address some of our basic needs. We all need TLC, love, a massage and the equivalent of a warm compress. Reach out to those who are close to you. Ask for some extra support in the form of kind words, a listening ear, a hug or thoughts/prayer. At the same time, be kind and compassionate with yourself. Make sure you have attended to your needs. Pushing through the pain is sometimes recommended, and sometimes rest and recuperation are just what the doctor ordered. Know yourself well enough to distinguish what you really need.
If you want to learn more about establishing the mindset for growing thru your growing pains and achieving blissful success, schedule your COMPLIMENTARY 30 minute consult.
I am here by your side on your journey, cheering you on, applying the warm compress, and offering a lot of TLC. Know that you are fully supported in your dreams, and you WILL manifest them!
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
Zen and the Art of Awesomeness
Zen and the art of what?! Here's the deal. Being awesome is something that can be achieved by simply being in the moment, and by being yourself. Y'know, "Zen". Sometimes my clients tell me, "I should really meditate more, but I'm not good at meditation. I guess I'm just not Zen." Huh? How does one become 'good' at meditation and ‘being Zen’? I do not fancy myself a meditation expert by any stretch, but I'll share my personal belief about meditation, awesomeness and becoming more Zen. Step into the moment. Stepping into the present moment takes practice, just like learning another skill, sport or musical instrument.
Zen and the "art of awesomeness" is simply being in the moment. We can be in the moment by checking in with ourselves, breathing deeply and often, and by slowing down to notice what is going on around us and inside of us.
Let’s back up for just a moment, though. What’s up with this self-judgment? I hear “I should” and “I’m not good at” and “I guess I’m just not” a lot. Bim, bam, boom. Stop there. Pause, interrupt the pattern, breathe and then move forward.
"Zen spirituality does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." ~ Alan Watts
You see, when we slow down and step into the moment, we achieve a Zen-like state. When we pause to check-in with ourselves, we create the foundation for meditation, Zen-like states and mindful presence.
Here are some quick tips to get started with a practice of being present so you can readily and easily step into your awesomeness every day (some call this “flow state” or “in the zone”).
- Breathe deeply and often. You do not need to be stressed or seeking relaxation to breathe deeply. Just be aware of your breath, and pay attention to some of your breaths throughout the day. You will find at times you need to breathe deeply, and other times you will not. By taking deep breaths, you are being proactive about your health: manage your stress, blood pressure and heart rate, and oxygenate your cells. You will help the flow of energy and improve your posture. How’s that for feeling virtuous? Now you’re stepping into awesomeness.
- Slow down to speed up. I’ve been saying this to clients, class and seminar participants. I tell it to my kids. And......sometimes (okay, quite often) I need to remind myself. Sometimes we need to slow down in order to speed up. Every step of the journey is important, no matter the final destination. If you want to succeed in any area of your life, you will develop this habit. Take the time to write your goals by hand every day, write 3 actionable items on your list (and finish them) every day, and reflect on your accomplishments at the end of the day. Slow down in order to speed up; these 3 small habits take all of 2 minutes and yet launch you forward at warp speed, if you will allow it.
- Peel the potato. Do nothing more than what you are currently doing. Dedicate your focus, attention, energy and intention to one thing at a time. Multi-tasking as a means of efficiently completing tasks is a farce, and diverts and dilutes your attention, changing the outcome - much like water to paint. Shift gears between tasks. Close the book (even if temporarily) on one actionable item before moving to the next. Give your brain time to adjust and switch gears. Studies show that it can take up to 15 minutes for the brain to fully close-out and switch to the new action when one attempts to manage multiple tasks at once. Focus, grasshopper. You will accomplish more and you will feel more grounded.
As you travel along your path, know that you are fully supported, and I honor your experience as your own. If you would like to learn more about building the foundation for superb awesomeness, I am here. I offer unwavering support, and would be honored to be by your side.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
Lessons from the Cosmos (Flower)
There is a certain beauty in wildflowers that is a little hard to put into words. I first became fascinated with Cosmos (Mexican Aster) when I was in graduate school in New Mexico. The feathery greens, bright punches of color and ability to thrive even under gross neglect seemed so symbolic, and in many ways speaks to stretches of my life experience.
The Cosmos flowers can stand from one to five feet tall and never require support, despite having a relatively thin stem. Cosmos are pest-resistant, and when fertilized, tend to grow more green than flowers. Even after days without water in triple digit summer heat, the flowers remain beautiful, and the green lush.
You may be wondering how in the world I am drawing a connection from neglect-loving, thin stemmed flowers to living an exquisite life. It is simple, and on this lovely Earth Day, it seems fitting to draw some connections from nature.
- Appearances can be deceiving. People often appear one way on the outside, yet what is inside is very different. I think of Audrey Hepburn as a shining example of a person who appeared very soft on the outside, and yet was possessed with admirable strength and conviction of character (after retiring from acting, she became special ambassador to the United Nations UNICEF fund helping children in developing nations). We also see the opposite: someone who appears very strong on the outside, and yet is suffering on the inside. In both examples, what we see on the outside is quite different from the real inside story.
- You have everything you need, and ample reserves. There are times in life when you may feel depleted, as if you do not have energy or resources to continue. The truth is, however, that we always have everything we need, with plenty of reserves. Think of a time when you did something very physically challenging (for me, running or pushups), and in the moment when you wanted to give up, your body came through for you. You found the extra something you needed to finish, to get where you needed to go, or to feel virtuous about crushing a challenge. Whatever your reasons, my point is simple: often our brains scream at us based on old garbage messages, when in reality we have plenty of energy to keep going.
- There is no need to over-protect ourselves or our loved ones; we thrive and grow from our experiences. Sometimes people over-water and over-fertilize their gardens and end up with mushy, squishy mud. The same is true in life. You do not always need to go get more information before taking-on a challenge. You do not always need to gear-up for what lies ahead in order to protect yourself. Sometimes for ourselves and for our loved ones, we really need to learn to let go and trust. Trust ourselves, trust the process, trust our source.
- Stand tall, no matter how frail you may feel, no matter how strong the wind. Be flexible and allow yourself to bend, but not break. If you break, you know how to repair yourself already, don’t you? Stand firm in who you are, grounded in that calm knowing, and trust in yourself, the process and your source. You’ve got this.
You see, we are like the Cosmos; delicate yet strong, self-sufficient yet interconnected, vulnerable yet protected, flexible yet firmly planted. Know that you’ve got what it takes to accomplish anything you dream and reach an absolutely exquisite sense of fulfillment and unspeakable joy. You are worth it, and the journey is worth it.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.
"Love is the only flower that grows and blossoms without the aid of the seasons." - Kahlil Gibran
Lighten UP! Shift your perspective and learn to experience joy
“Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.” – Woody Allen Ah, good ‘ole Woody Allen, the master of neurotic, self-pitying quotes. I know some people who view life the way this quote reads, so now I feel compelled to write about having fun. A number of people in my circle have expressed frustration at not having time to enjoy themselves, being too ingrained in their routinized lives, and just a general lack of joy. I see it in the faces and body language of people I work with and in those I watch as I take-in my surroundings, and I have to ask: when did we switch from living to surviving?
We are taught to be responsible, contribute to society and “be serious.” I can think of several times when I’ve said those things to my children because they were too busy having fun to listen to me or do their chores. In my moment of over-scheduled, harried mom trying to get it all done, I have overlooked their joy and interpreted their dismissal of my requests as rudeness or disrespect when they were simply enjoying the moment and living their lives. We could all take a page from a child’s life book and lighten up a little.
Obviously, there are times to be serious and times to be playful, but these do not have to live entirely separate existences. If we take a moment to find the joy in living, we can all have a little more fun. It really is simple, and I have broken it down into simple steps.
1. Choose to find the good in things. If you find yourself commiserating with Woody Allen, and many of us have at some point in our lives, then the first step is to shift your perspective and choose to find the good in things. I wrote an affirmation for one of my children, and find myself repeating it to myself in moments of negativity: “I choose to find the good in things and be happy.” If you catch yourself slipping into a negative thought pattern, repeat the affirmation five times. If you have never used positive affirmations, it might seem a little strange at first, but just give it a try; you might be surprised how this small change will shift your thinking.
“Joy is the feeling of grinning inside.” - Melba Colgrove
Notice I did not provide a definition of happiness. There is no outline or format to follow, just a value statement to make for yourself that will help you re-program your thinking to believe that happiness is a choice, and that you deserve it. When you choose to allow yourself to experience what you believe you deserve, you have already begun to change your life and invite more joy.
2. Break the rules. We all have a rebellious streak in us, yet somewhere between adolescence and adulthood, most of us abandoned it for rule-following, proper behavior and keeping up appearances. I would never suggest disrespectful behavior toward others or felonious activity, but why not let yourself be a little naughty once in a while? I think Katharine Hepburn was on to something when she said, “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” Give yourself permission to step outside the box to experience things just a little differently. Stay out past your bedtime, eat dessert before dinner, laugh out loud in public, dance on tables…you get the gist.
”I am not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.” – Fritz Perls
3. Let go of expectations that hold you back. Those of us who are “recovering type-A” personalities already realize that we place high expectations on ourselves. Our standards are often impossibly high and we rarely live up to them. In addition, we set similarly impossible standards for others, and find ourselves continually disappointed in people. Here is an opportunity to try something radical: let go of the belief that others can make you happy. You are in charge of your happiness. You have the choice to be happy. People’s actions may affect you, but the key to your happiness is in your hands.
4. Allow yourself to experience joy every day. After you have chosen to believe that you deserve to be happy and have abandoned the rules and expectations that hold you back, you have paved the way to truly experience joy. You only need to open your eyes a little, stop to “smell the roses,” so to speak. Think about things that make you smile, and look for them as you go about your day. You will become more aware of your surroundings, begin to experience good feelings and notice other things that bring you joy. If you enjoy social time with friends, make a point of scheduling time with them. If you love music, play your favorite tunes and just listen, or dance around your house.
We all lead busy lives, and with technology and round the clock access, it is so easy to slip into the “grind” mentality and feel continually obligated to spend our time working or adding tasks to the to do list. This is not a healthy, balanced lifestyle. As creatures of habit, our bodies will adjust to whatever routine we impose, so why not create time every day for down-time, time to decompress and have a little fun? Give yourself permission to let something go on the to do list (or better yet, ditch the list; you will always do what is important, right?)
There are opportunities to experience joy every day, if you open your heart to see what is out there. When you make the slightest change in one area of your life, it will spill-over into other areas. Shift your perspective toward finding the good; it will take some re-training to change your thought patterns, but it is well worth the effort. You can alter the course of your life by giving yourself permission to experience fun and joy. I wish you the best, most joyful day and know you are fully capable of changing your life.
Blessings. Gratitude. Love.