What to do When You Don't Know What to do: A helpful guide to decision making

“Never try to solve all the problems at once - make them line up for you one-by-one.”  - Richard Sloma Do you ever need to make a decision and feel stuck? Sometimes we have several decisions to make at once, or a larger problem that feels insurmountable, and all we want to do is crawl back into bed and pull the covers over our heads. Who has not been there? I sure have, at least once, and maybe even twice. OK, I have probably been there a lot more than twice, but I digress...

When we are faced with a problem or a very important decision, why is it that we often go into a state of panic, overwhelm, denial, blame, avoidance or procrastination? There are a number of possible reasons, including, but not limited to: fear, lack of self-confidence, buying-in to others’ influence (good, bad or indifferent) or a sincere lack of knowledge about the subject at hand. As a regular human being, I can say I’ve experienced all of the above, and even had a touch of that as recently as last week. As a success coach, however, I will pose the following for you to consider:

It is what it is. So what? Now what?

1. It is what it is. OK, ‘it’ has happened or presented itself. So there it is, in front of you, the elephant in the corner. You can close your eyes and pretend you don’t see it, but you already saw it, you can sense it, and you have an acute awareness of it’s presence. If it is an event from the past, then you are now facing it in the present. Whatever the case, accept that it is there; it just is.
2. So what? What do you want to do about ‘it’? Is it life-threatening? If so, you know what to do, right? Call 9-1-1, run away or protect yourself somehow. But, it is likely NOT threatening your life, and it is now time to decide what to do. How would you like the outcome to look? Is your desired outcome specific and realistic? Is it in-line with your core values? Decide what you really want to do about it.
3. Now what? What are you willing to do about it? What action steps are you willing to take right now to achieve the end you desire? Decide what you can and will do, then break it down and devise the plan to get to the end you picture.

Once you have worked your way thru the above thought process, now create momentum. Put your action plan into action. If the plan seems too grand, break it down into smaller steps, and then take the easiest or most logical step. If you still feel stuck, take a step back and examine with softer eyes; notice that it is not as large as you once perceived. So, with soft eyes and a smaller task at hand, take a step.

Still daunting? Work backward from the end result to where you are now and figure out what makes sense or what is easiest to do first, and then take a step. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know at the moment... If it doesn’t turn out right, we can modify as we go along.” You can always modify the plan if the trajectory ahead looks like it’s not going toward the end you envisioned, but you must get started.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have gotten caught-up many times in the process of analyzing the problem or the multiple possible solutions rather than doing something to pave the path to the solution, either for fear of failure, or quite possibly for fear of success. So, do something, anything to create momentum. You are smart, experienced and perfectly capable of changing course if you discover that the plan you execute is moving you in a direction that does not contribute to your overall wellbeing.

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” - Edwin Louis Cole

One thing is certain: if you choose to stay in one place, you will remain in that place. If that is uncomfortably comfortable, then it is time to make a change, take the decision that feels right, or take the decision that feels uncomfortable and pushes you beyond your comfort zone. When you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, you will grow. How you envision your success will expand and you will begin to make decisions effortlessly, and the work will feel effortless, no matter how “hard” it is.

It’s not about a task “being easy” but the feeling of effortless draw as you begin to create momentum. Momentum is your friend, if you create it. There are times when we need to fix our eyes on the desired outcome, and that will propel us forward. However, there are plenty of times in life when we simply need to get started. The best way to get started is to think about and envision the goal, and then create a plan from there (and note that thinking about the outcome, envisioning the goal and creating the plan are steps taken, so you have already created momentum.) Once you have a plan, you can adjust as necessary, but in order to get anywhere near the finish line, you must take the necessary steps and keep going. Remember the “Little Engine That Could”? She kept moving forward, with a positive attitude, believing that she could do it, saying to herself, “I think I can...” Well, I KNOW you can, so put one foot in front of the other, create forward momentum and keep going.

When we become crystal clear about what we want, focus on creating the path, and then take the path, we can achieve anything.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

More Translations. Today: FML (hint, NOT Family Medical Leave...)

No, FML is not the "Family Medical Leave (Act)" though that would be more palatable, to be sure. FML, loosely translated, is "F__(orget) My Life" and it makes me cringe, A LOT! I want to teach you how to shift from frustration to powerful and happy thoughts...

So what do you do now? You’re having a bad moment/day/week/month/year. OK.

Remember me? I’m the Silver Lining Chick & Realist’s love child. So here’s the deal: If you feel like your life is out of control, throwing your hands up in the air is not the answer. It may feel good in the moment, but the second you say something like, "FML" or "Life Sucks" or "Bad things ALWAYS happen to me" or "It's ALWAYS SOMETHING", or “Things NEVER work for me!” guess what? You're right!!! You've informed every cell in your body that bad stuff is going to go down - always, and that informs your every thought and action. Yes, it does.

When life bites you in the rear, as it is occasionally, apparently entitled to do, here’s what you need to know for a quick turn-around:

1. STOP, drop and (let it) roll. No fire here. Just stop what you’re doing. Now. Stop.
2. Take charge of your thoughts. Stop what you’re thinking. If you are sitting, stand up. If you are standing, sit down or walk around. If you are holding something in one hand, switch hands. You have now interrupted the pattern.
3. Say these three letters and commit them to your new story memory:    CML = Command of My Life

That’s it. That is the Secret. You get to choose. You are in Command of your life. Simple as that. Change how you’re thinking. Is everything sunshine and lollipops? Well... I didn’t say that, remember there’s a lot of realist in me. But, when you change your thoughts and interrupt an old or negative thought pattern, you get to re-align your cognition (thoughts) and in doing so, you project your presence forward into the next set of thoughts, and then you feel differently, you behave differently, you choose differently, and you get different results.

Think, Einstein: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

So, flip the switch. Switch hands, stand up, sit down, stop, drop and roll. Interrupt the pattern. It’s a practice. Once you start and become consciously aware of interrupting the old and replacing with something new, you will create effortless momentum. Yes, it is that simple.

No more FML. No more “ALWAYS-NEVER” thoughts. If you catch it, flip it. That’s it.

Go, have fun and Take Command of Your Life. I think you’ll be glad you did!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

WTF Translated (hint: it’s not as bad as you think)

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.” ~ Unknown Do you ever find yourself thinking really negative thoughts? Have you ever been caught off-guard by something “bad” or a series of “bad stuff” seemingly stacking-up against you? Do you then you ask yourself, “WTF?” (loosely translated, “What in the world?!”)

I’m a huge fan of overcoming old stuff and re-writing the story, which you’ll occasionally hear me say this way: Time to update your story. We get to choose how we see things. While we cannot have control over our surroundings or things that happen around or to us, we can certainly control or re-direct our thoughts to make things better for ourselves.

In our first interview crafting her Vision of Success, a now graduated client told me, “I want to log in to my bank account and not ask myself, ‘WTF??!!’ I just want to feel relaxed about it all.” After we had a clear picture of what she wanted for her finances and other areas of life, I worked-in the WTF and re-directed it in a way to not only make her giggle, but to also feel good about where she was headed. You see, as a coach, I get to see your life from a different perspective, and I can see your potential ~ and it excites and inspires me to no end!

So, re-direct and re-work the proverbial “WTF” from its original meaning (again, loosely translated, “What in the world?!”) to this:

WTF = Well, That’s FANTASTIC!!

Every upset, every unpleasant surprise, every dollar we wish we had, brings us the opportunity to change how we see and experience our life circumstances. When we think in positive terms, we can see things we never saw before, feel things we were never able to feel and achieve things we once thought were impossible.

Am I saying that you should think in terms of sunshine and lolipops? Not at all... That would be so fake that your subconscious would laugh you right out of your own head. But if you ask yourself what you are learning, IF you could learn something, and how you can take it and make something good out of it, then you are likely to change not only the way you see things, but how you DO things.

Trust me.

It takes some work, a little mindfulness, a wee bit of “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality, but you will notice a change.

Here’s what you need to do when something goes awfully wrong:

1. Breathe. This is not only a sign of life, it will bring your blood pressure under control (really, it will) and help you pause for a moment before you toss the baby out with the bathwater
2. Ask questions. What am I learning? Is there a way to turn this into something good?
3. Trust yourself; you know more than you think you do. Know that you always know what’s best for you, so if you make a choice to see and do things differently, then you will, and it’ll ultimately turn out well (or at least teach you something you were meant to learn)

Having a positive attitude is only part of the picture, but this is a great start and will get you moving in the right direction. Next week I will teach you a way to shift the “FML” mentality to something more productive and positive. Until then, remember Well, that’s FANTASTIC! And you will at least laugh a little, if not make a positive change by thinking differently.

Life happens. Own it and make the best of it.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Lookie!! What we see when we reflect

“Upon reflection, I see where I’ve gone right. Upon reflection, I see where I’ve gone wrong. Upon reflection, I recognize I’ve taken a number of leaps of faith - BIG, HUGE ones (yay me!) Upon reflection, I see myself in my parents, friends and family members. Upon reflection, I see myself in my children’s eyes.” ~ TLC We see parts of ourselves in everyone we meet, even when we meet someone we don’t care for much. So, rather than have visceral reactions to people who rub us the wrong way, we can ask ourselves what we see in them that bothers us, and if there is something we can learn to change or appreciate about ourselves in a different way.

I love this word: reflection. I love it because we can think, muse and take a look in the proverbial mirror. What do you see when you look in the mirror?

We can even reflect verbally. When someone’s words feel critical, how do you respond? Do you feel tension in your body? When you answer, do you get defensive? Rather than react, you can reflect: “Hmm...” (My favorite word!) “I’m hearing you say that you don’t appreciate (X) about the way I answered. Is that true?” Often people simply aren’t aware of their tone, but sometimes people passively, or not so passively, behave in an aggressive manner. When this is the case and you reflect back what you’ve heard, you are in a great position to possibly help someone learn something while protecting yourself and your integrity.

Do not engage. Just don’t...

A good friend taught me the “Q-TIP Method” of disengaging: Quit Taking It Personally. I use it a lot with my kids, and have learned that when there are people who seem hell-bent on sharing their opinions in ways that might not feel good to me, I think to myself, "Q-TIP!" and am able to smile inside and take a breath.

So, going back to when you say, “Hmmm,” know that you are effectively giving yourself a moment to switch to Q-TIP mode and disengage. Then, if you choose to reflect to the other person, you can do it in a way that is not offensive or rude; you are simply reflecting back what they’ve said to you.

Another method of reflection mirrors the thought for the week - consider this when observing nature outdoors, your own nature and that of others. Let your observation be diligent, your reflection profound and your experiments exact (in other words, take your time, observe, think, come up with a plan and THEN move forward).

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:

“Our observation of nature must be diligent, our reflection profound, and our experiments exact. We rarely see these three means combined: and for this reason, creative geniuses are not common.” ~ Denis Diderot

I wish you the best week as you learn to enjoy your reflection, use the Q-TIP Method and create the best, most passion-filled life you ever dreamed of.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Pinch Me, I’m Dreaming! Using dreams as a guide

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde

Our dreams tell us a lot. Sometimes the brain is simply uploading and organizing information while we sleep, and this is one of the reasons why sleep is critical to our overall wellbeing. However, our dreams can also give us insight to our internal workings when we are processing information from our waking life. If you are trying to sort out an emotional situation or if you are ignoring something, the brain and subconscious have a way of bringing you to attention by sending you a whopper of a dream. Some people experience recurring dreams. Some experience chasing, scary or euphoric hero dreams. All of this is your subconscious sorting out situations and input from your waking life.

The study of dream analysis has been varied over the years. In ancient Egypt and Greece, dreams were seen as a supernatural communication or as a means of divine intervention. In Europe toward the end of the 19th century, dreams were used as an integral part of psychoanalysis, and the perceived content of those dreams was said to reveal the latent meaning to the psyche of the dreamer (Sigmund Freud’s work The Interpretation of Dreams is a famous and relevant example of dream interpretation.)

While I believe that dreams offer us some juicy symbolism for our waking lives, I also like the word “dream” for how we see our lives unfolding. Our hopes and aspirations are also “dreams.” When I was younger, I had a number of dreams: go to college, grad school, get married, have a couple of children, own a home, etc. I have achieved all of those dreams, yet I still see my complete dream as unfulfilled. I continue to expand the idea of that dream and fill it in with some very interesting and fun experiences, new people and brighter outlook.

How do you feel about your dreams? Are they still alive? Have you ever felt like your dream was shattered? I have. When my marriage ended, I had to examine what my dream was, why it felt shattered into a million bits, and whether my dream was really my own, or something I had worked toward because I thought that was what I was supposed to be doing. I have since learned that my dreams were tied into what I believed I was supposed to be doing, what I believed I should dream of. I had coffee with an amazing coach, Margie Warrell, and she said we all need to stop “should-ing on” ourselves. The moment we use the word “should” we are already wrong, because “should” automatically places judgment on ourselves or others.

I want to tie this to dreams because as my life unfolds, I open myself to all the possibilities and watch everything come together, I recognize that when I stopped “should-ing on” myself and allowing myself to dream of what I really want, I started to feel free. That freedom has allowed me to expand my dreams and aspirations. Now my dream includes expanding my business, helping people change their lives, hopes for my children, our life together and a whole host of future experiences.

Would you like to fulfill your dreams? How can you do that? I can help you get the ball rolling, with a few easy steps. What lies ahead might seem somewhat disjointed, but I assure you that you will enjoy changes and see results almost immediately if you open your mind and heart to creatively choosing a new path for yourself.

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” - James Dean

1. Dream big. Write down what you want from life. Be adventurous, bold and aim high. Write it out with specifics like places you want to visit, things you want to see, the salary you know you deserve and how you envision your life in the bigger picture. When we put it down on paper, it becomes more real to us. You can get more specific by setting mini-goals to keep you going, or keep it big picture, stretched-out across the horizon.

2. Pay attention to your dreams. Your dreams can shed a lot of light on your waking life. If you have a very symbolic dream that leaves you scratching your head, write it out and jot down your thoughts on what it could mean in your life. I often refer to a dream analysis website when I have a crazy dream that needs some more thought, and I pulled some basic symbolism for you to shed some light on your own dreams:

Recurring Dreams: indicates unresolved issues or unhealthy patterns

Nightmares: suggests that there is an unresolved issue with emotional or frightening content, perhaps a health issue you have been avoiding

Chasing Dreams: a metaphor for some type of insecurity. You are avoiding a situation you think is not conquerable

Animals: your own physical characteristics, primitive desires or sexual nature, depending on the animal.

3. Try lucid dreaming. Lucid dreams occur when you are somewhere between asleep and awake. In a lucid dream, you can actively participate in, and manipulate, imaginary experiences in the dream. You can confront perceived threats and improve your self-confidence. Using lucid dreams can help you sort out a problem from your waking life and visualize and practice asking for what you want and need - practice a speech, prepare for an event, ask for a raise, etc.

Set high goals for yourself, give yourself permission to touch and embrace your dreams. Be mindful of what your subconscious is telling you while you sleep. Use the symbolism to sort out issues you may have buried that need attention. Your dreams can guide you to your better path, to the life you want, if you are willing to listen and take action to change your life.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Harmony as a Means to Empowerment: How to Align Your Thoughts & Deeds to Create the Life You Desire

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.” - Mahtma Gandhi Have you ever found yourself wishing you had something, then focusing on what is “wrong” in your life? Do you argue with your spouse, children, co-workers or friends? Do you wish they would just listen to you and stop being so difficult? What if all these people did exactly what you wished they would do? How would that look and feel?

I recently had a “Eureka!” moment where I realized that I thought that my children “never” listened to me. I wondered why they were being difficult, why I couldn’t get them to cooperate with me, stop fighting, put on their shoes, etc. Sound familiar? If you are not a parent, you can apply this generalization to any situation. If you have ever found yourself thinking or saying, “My partner never listens to me,” or, “That will never happen,” or, “There’s ALWAYS something,” then you are right. What I learned about my children was they were modeling MY behavior: being distracted by other things. Why? Because when I was in a state of overwhelm, I got into the habit of being distracted and scattered, and only half-listening to them while multi-tasking.

When I slowed down, I re-visited my personal and professional WHY and reminded myself that my WHY is very simple: Empowerment and Harmony. I was certainly not empowering my children or myself to live harmoniously while being only half-present. Thankfully, today is a new day.

“Today I choose to empower myself to create harmony every chance I get...” ~ TLC

 ...and I get a lot of chances!

How about you? Do you recognize opportunities to create harmony? Do you feel like you have power to create the life you want? Let’s break down the Gandhi quote.

Thoughts. Start with thoughts. If you think positive thoughts and your thoughts are in alignment with your values, then your words and deeds will reflect that. The opposite is also true. Let that marinate. How do you feel about yourself, your spouse, boss or colleagues, in-laws and family members, your neighbors and the world in general?

If you have negative feelings and thoughts about a person or situation, consider looking in the mirror. The people and situations in our lives are a reflection of us. Ask yourself what you might learn. Be open to the answer; you might peel back a layer to reveal a part of yourself you haven’t yet accessed.

Words. What do your words say about your thoughts? Have you used unkind, disrespectful words, or have your words been loving, kind and uplifting? What about self-talk?

I encourage my clients to write morning pages first thing in the morning; to write everything out, even thoughts like the following:

“It’s 6am, I feel terrible. I slept horribly. I am overwhelmed and I’m not even out of bed yet. I am so far behind on my to-do list; I will never get done. This day is going to suck rocks.”

The beauty of the morning pages is that you can release the negative voice. You can also address every assumption and negative thought by stating the positive outcome you desire. Or, you can simply let the negative thoughts and words flow to release them, leave them on the pages and get on with your day.

Deeds. What about your deeds? Do you practice acts of kindness? How is your attitude when asked to help with a household chore? Do you do it willingly, knowing that you are contributing to your home team?

In addition, you can offer to do things for people without being asked. Help with chores, fix dinner, repair something, or bring home fresh cut flowers. Outside your home, open doors for strangers, smile at people, and say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze. Acts of kindness are far-reaching and do not require much of you; simply offer a thoughtful gesture or smile.

When we strive to create harmony - first with our thoughts - we naturally do the same with our words and deeds. It may take some effort to begin to think positively, shifting away from old negative thought patterns, but you will feel free when you do.

Gandhi said if we aim at purifying our thoughts then everything will be well. How do we make it happen? It is not just our thoughts that need purifying, but the feelings associated with the thoughts. We can say positive things all day long, but if we do not feel these thoughts are authentic, then the negative feeling is the same as negative thinking.

So, now what?

1. Acknowledge Feelings For What They Are. Stop everything when you feel negativity creeping in. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Remove any judgment, and acknowledge, “I feel angry right now because I am frustrated.” Stop there. Do not tell yourself what you should or should not be feeling (stop “should-ing” all over yourself). The feeling just is.
2. Practice Compassion. Just as you would with a child, be forgiving, allow yourself to feel what you feel. How you respond to feelings is important. Be understanding of your natural need to emote, and forgive yourself for any foibles as you would a loved one.
3. Express Gratitude. When we express gratitude, we shift our thinking away from what is wrong to what is right and good. In a difficult situation you could allow yourself to feel grateful for the opportunity to learn something. Be thankful for the opportunity to see yourself in a different light. Finally, you might feel grateful for the opportunity to repeat a pattern one last time, realizing you get to grow through a situation and heal from old patterns that no longer serve you.

There is freedom in harmony of thoughts, words and deeds. You have the choice to set yourself free. I believe in you and your ability to create the life you desire.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

What is Coaching?

Coaching is an integrated system of a variety of methods and exercises with the intention of guiding clients to their highest success. The client and coach partner in an individualized, thought-provoking and creative process that inspires clients to craft a clear vision of their success, and to take inspired action to realize their highest potential. We will work together to define and design your personal Vision of Success, map-out your journey to your highest self and prepare for potential roadblocks along the way. I employ a number of methods, systems and series of questions that help you tap-in to your intuition and abilities. My coaching training program, education, life experience and intuitive sense give me insight based on your answers to questions, sometimes even if you do not answer directly!

Working together with your coach can help you gain insight and clarity, and map-out your route to success in any of the following areas, and many others:

*  Executive                                *  Empowerment

*  Health & Wellness                    *  Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Fitness

*  Life Transitions                        *  Finance

*  Holistic Health                         *  Business

*  Career                                    *  Creativity

*  Divine Purpose                        *  Entrepreneur

*  Ethics                                     *  Communication

*  Management                           *  Leadership                              

*  Mastermind                            *  Personal Growth & Development

Achieve the most exquisite sense of personal and professional fulfillment and success!

Do you have a CRYSTAL CLEAR Vision of Success?

Are you ready to achieve beyond your wildest dreams?

SAY YES TO:

• Crystal Clear Vision of Success
• One-on-One or Group Coaching
• Personal Roadmap to Success
• Unwavering Support
• Convenient, flexible scheduling (Skype, phone, in-person {DC Metropolitan only})
• Achieving beyond your wildest dreams
• Update your personal success story

Click here to learn more about 1-on-1 coaching with Tracy.

Make a Powerful Choice today!

A Tutorial in Gratitude

“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.” - Kahlil Gibran I love this quote, and I love anything written by Kahlil Gibran. I am sure some feathers might experience a little ruffling with the temple and religion reference, but I am certain if you are here to read this blog, you can get around that to continue reading. So, join me for a lesson in developing an attitude of gratitude.

I am tempted to launch into a lecture about ungrateful behavior, but that seems, well, ungrateful. I am grateful for the examples of ingratitude I can reference in my own mind, because they shine a light on areas in need of improvement in my life. I believe that every person enters our lives for a reason, even if “just” someone you witness while running errands. Have you ever noticed bad behavior, and then found yourself judging the person? I sure have. I think myself relatively non-judgmental, but I catch myself in that old pattern once in a while. I did this morning while sitting in the waiting room at urgent care with my daughter (all is well, thankfully).

A very young woman with an adorable two-year old daughter tall enough to be four or five, and heavy enough to be considered obese, was also waiting. I first caught myself judging her for allowing her child to be overweight. Then I caught myself judging her for talking about how bright and articulate her little girl was. After that I caught myself judging her for how loudly she was chastising her sweet little girl for climbing on the chairs (she is only two after all.) I suddenly realized how easy it was for me to slip into the judgmental mode, and stopped myself immediately - but not until I had already consciously judged her at least three times. I reminded myself that everyone has their own story, and it’s none of my business how someone else raises their children unless I witness abuse; then all bets are off. You might be wondering why I am talking about my judgmental attitude if I am writing about gratitude. In catching myself judging a fellow mother, I realized that I go to that judgmental place when I am fearful, for whatever reason, and it is my way of deflecting responsibility - a very clear example of a lack of gratitude.

Along the lines of fearfulness and a need to shift to gratitude, I will share another personal story. When my daughter was born, she failed her hearing test in the hospital. When she failed it again at an audiologist’s office three weeks later, I was really scared. I had no idea what a ‘failed hearing test’ meant - if my daughter was deaf, if we would need to learn sign language, how that would affect our family, if kids would tease her for wearing hearing aids, and the list of fears goes on. By the time all of the testing was complete, she was diagnosed with a mild-to-moderate hearing loss, and received her first pair of hearing aids at just 9 weeks old. In the very moment the audiologist turned her aids on, and was speaking to us about how to use them, my beautiful baby turned her head, looked right at the audiologist and cooed, as if to say, “OH! That’s how you sound! Thank you!” Tears of joy, relief, and most importantly, gratitude, flowed freely.

In grappling with the uncertainty, I found myself saying, “This is not life-threatening. Her heart and all life-sustaining organs function perfectly well. She is healthy.” But until I had some kind of “proof” that she was going to be OK, those thoughts were scarcely enough. In the time that has passed - my daughter is now eight - life has brought me numerous opportunities to move from scared, worried, angry and negative to grateful. Sometimes I find myself expressing gratitude for a lesson I’m about learn, for in the midst of a trial, I cannot see the wisdom, but I trust that I will learn from it.

I share these personal stories to help you understand that we are all learning, always. We are beautiful works in progress, and every day we can learn something new. Waking up ready to embrace each day and learn from it is a step toward an attitude of gratitude. How else can you shift your thinking and ultimately free yourself from negativity, self-sabotage and other unnecessary burdens? There are a number of ways, and I will address two starting points: change your vocabulary and look for the silver lining. I will likely write more on gratitude at a later date.

Change your vocabulary. Yes, it’s that simple. Change your speech and thought patterns:

Instead of	Change to
“Try”	“I do”
“I should do X”	“I could do X; I choose Y”
“Have to”	“I intend”
“I don’t have enough money”	“I am blessed with abundance”
(an immediate) “No”	“Hmm, let me think about that”
“This always happens to me”	“I’m grateful to recognize a pattern I can change”

 

Look for the silver lining. That may sound a little pie-in-the-sky (in the true meaning: promising heaven while continuing to suffer on earth) but I assure you that when you look for the positive in things, you will begin to find it. Does that mean you will live a life free of difficulties and trials? Absolutely not, but how you handle life’s ups and downs is key. Find the good in things. Remember there is always opportunity to learn. For that, I am always grateful.

I wish you the best on your journey as you make small changes that have tremendous impact, and I am grateful for you.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.