Beating the odds: Stop questioning the good stuff

When you "beat the odds" do you embrace it, or do you analyze, question and doubt? Do you find yourself saying, "Yeah, but..." - what I call the 'Dreaded Yabbit Dyndrome' (DYS for short). I found myself battling my own DYS the other day, related to the numbers game. When I remembered that kind of thinking doesn't represent the paradigm I live in, nor does it serve me, I was able to exhale it out and express gratitude for the number of people I am able to serve, for those who are making their way to me now, and for those whose lives have been changed by something I have said or done, or by someone I have helped sharing something they have learned. You get the point, right?

The esteemed Dr. Deepak Chopra tells us that every time we think a positive thought or make a positive change in our lives, that resonates out and can create a positive change in the lives of 30,000 others. So... If I help one person, even if I help only myself, I am also helping my 2 children (now we're at 90,000, for those who need to see the numbers).

No more Yabbit... No more doubt. No more worry. Only thanking the universe/god/your highest self/source for the incredible opportunity you have every moment of every day to make a difference. Go, love yourself, believe in yourself, GIVE of yourself. Because every time you do, you are changing lives. Yes, you are! ~ TLC

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Reflections on 2012 - TLC Style

So, many people are writing their reflections on 2012 as the year comes to a close. While I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon, I have to say that I feel the need to do the same and share some of my learning experiences as well. First, 2012 has been an incredible year for me personally and professionally. I have experienced a number of ups and downs in both areas, have grown tremendously, and feel wiser, stronger and better-equipped for this next year, which is already looking like it will be AMAZING!

While not one to make Resolutions, I am working very intentionally toward some lofty goals that, frankly, scare the hell out of me. Yes... I feel scared. Yes... I feel worried I might fail, and yes, I know I’m not ‘supposed’ to worry and fear failure and all of that. But, I am also afraid of the huge success that is right there at my fingertips; just a smidge. There, I’ve self-disclosed. Now, can we get on with it?

Here’s what I’ve learned in 2012, in completely random order, and yet probably the perfect sequence:

Dating is not for the faint of heart. I’ve heard dating referred to as “feast or famine.” I feel VERY strongly that gorging/starving is really bad for our metabolism. So, I have chosen to just be myself and not play by the rules. That’s my personal wisdom, combined with that of other friends and clients who have experienced this ‘dating thing’. Be yourself in all areas, even if you're in committed partnership or not dating. Enjoy, don’t take yourself too seriously. Go, have fun, study the reflection you see in each person who you attract. Stay detached from any outcome, and remember that each person who comes into your life is there at the right time, for the right reason. There are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn and grow.

Solitude is WAY underrated. While we are social creatures by nature, there are quiet, alone times to be enjoyed, appreciated and savored. Recharge your batteries, do something loving for yourself - read a book, take a long bath, go for a walk, watch a movie or do nothing. Schedule daily solitude, even if 'just' for 10 minutes to begin or end your day. Savor your time to yourself and focus on YOU.

There is room for everyone. There is enough. YOU are enough. Learn to live a life without limits. There is only one thing in life that is obligatory: death. Everything else is a choice. Perhaps that’s a little black and white and even over-simplified, but give it a little time to marinate. You get to choose how you respond to whatever comes your way. There is plenty - love, resources, financial abundance, opportunities, air to breathe. There is always enough, and there is room for everyone. Go, stake your claim, and remember that there are no limits to what you can imagine and manifest.

Have fun every day. Make something up. Laugh at yourself. Make a game out of something totally boring or tedious. Life is too short for bullsh...oh, that’s the next bit of wisdom. Life is meant for living, so GO LIVE IT!

Life is too short for bullshit, so stop making it and stop taking it. ‘Nuf said.

Stop making RESOLUTIONS! Choose right now to set the intention you desire for yourself for the next year, for the next five, for your whole life. Write your own Vision of Success (or talk to me about it and I’ll help you) and rather than plan every little detail based on something that feels like an obligation, choose how to re-write or update your story, and make it happen. When you know what you want and WHY you want it, ‘making it happen’ will feel effortless.

I wish you the best as you enter the newest chapter of your life, this new year. I invite you to take advantage of some free offers to get the new year started. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, enter your information in the form at the top right corner and you’ll gain access to EXCLUSIVE FREEBIES.*

Happy New Year!!! Best of success to you in 2013 and always!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

*(plus a free gift just for joining my list - I never share or sell information; this is for inside scoop only)

Keep it cool: FAN yourself with love

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” - Morrie Schwartz At some point, I knew I would write about love. I have referenced romantic and familial love and have touched on self-love, but today it’s all about loving the self. I once heard someone say that you cannot give away something you don’t have. So, how can we love another, and receive their unconditional love, if we do not first love ourselves?

Can you honestly say that you love yourself unconditionally? Are you proud of yourself and your accomplishments, and do you take time to nurture yourself? By nurture, I mean give yourself time to heal from emotional wounds, read, rest, say kind things to and of yourself, recover, think, sleep, listen to music, go for a hike, or whatever it is that you need to feel like you are caring for yourself. Many of us “take care of ourselves” by exercising, eating healthy foods and getting enough rest, etc., but what about nurturing? Do you forgive yourself your mistakes, accept yourself as you are and facilitate your personal growth?

We tend to think of personal growth as something that requires time spent on a couch “talking it thru,” going to large rallies or some other investment. In the true Power, Strength, Grace fashion, I will make it much simpler. To be clear, I place high value on the assistance of mental health professionals, and I was able to work thru some extremely difficult experiences and get to where I am today with the assistance of a supportive and gifted therapist.

You need to dig thru your garbage, in your own way. However, in addition to digging in the muck of past experiences and negativity, you can simply treat yourself with love. It is not easy to un-do negative thought patterns and change how you view yourself, but I can help you get the ball rolling. So, I am here to teach you how to keep it cool and FAN yourself with love.

First, back up for a minute, if you will, and entertain a bit about me. If you know me or have followed my posts or blog, then you know I have been thru a lot of change and challenge in the last couple of years. I ended my marriage, had a job plop in my lap after many years out of the paid workforce, and ultimately chose to leave that job to pursue my passion. In the process, I have chosen, and been forced, to work thru some very dark moments. I have dug in the muck, faced a number of previously crippling fears, and ventured out into the world as a completely transformed, re-born person. All this said, practicing self-love was never something I would have considered before because, frankly, it sounds pretty hokey to my rational mind.

That said, self-love is the best place to start the healing process, and quickly. Obviously awareness that you need to make a change will precede this, but if you are reading today and seeking guidance, I feel safe assuming that you have gotten past the recognition stage. So, let’s get to loving ourselves. I have broken it down into three steps: Forgive yourself, Accept yourself and your circumstances, and Nurture yourself. You do not need to go in any certain order; I am spelling FAN so you can remember it easily.

Forgive Yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. Let go of the mistakes you’ve made, even if you have hurt people along the way. If you feel responsible for hurting someone, forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness from that person/people, and move on. If a personal apology is not possible, write a heart-felt letter that you either send or do not send. Maybe write a letter forgiving yourself your imperfections and file it. Better, write it in a journal or notebook and picture wrapping it with love and letting it go. Name the hurt, shame, criticism and agony. Be lovingly forgiving, as you would with a child. Send each tidbit off to the universe/heavens/God/Cosmos in a bubble of love. Watch it float away. Too much? OK, just name it, write it on the paper, leave it behind, and move on without the ritual. You are human, will make mistakes, and the sooner you let go of impossibly high expectations, the better off you will be.

Accept Yourself (and your circumstances.) You are a beautiful creature, part of the human race; we are all beautiful and offer so many gifts. You will stumble and pick yourself up, and you will make mistakes and learn from them. View your mistakes and imperfections as part of the learning process on this wonderful journey. Let yourself be yourself and recognize that you are incredible, warts and all. This is a great time to write an affirmation about your qualities, gifts and potential. Write a list of positive attributes about yourself. You might struggle with this if you are new to self-love. That’s OK, just find anything positive to say about yourself, such as, “I am an excellent gardener.” You can further develop your affirmations as you begin to feel comfortable with using positive vocabulary.

Nurture Yourself. Self-nurturance is one of the more challenging concepts because we are programmed to dish-out loving care to others, but to do the same for ourselves is viewed as selfish and indulgent, and that does not sit well on the palate. I believe I once said, “Get over it” and I think that applies nicely here. Get over the negative connotations and get to loving yourself. Nurturing the self is very simple, and doesn’t require a lot of time, energy or money. You simply need to begin treating yourself in a loving manner. Start by writing yourself a love letter, or write a letter to yourself as a child. Share things with yourself that only you would know, tell yourself what you see, your potential for greatness, and let yourself feel the warmth of you loving yourself.

Part of personal development is to love and accept the self. Accepting ourselves does not mean giving up on making improvements, but how can we lovingly warm-up our home if we don’t feel it? How can we love our partner, children or other family members if we do not love ourselves first? We cannot give out that which we do not possess. I recently tweeted the following, and it will be included in the opening pages of my upcoming book:

"Prepare your heart. Move your body. Release what no longer serves you, and invite loving care into your life." ~ TLC

When you let love in, you will be able to give love out freely and honestly. Give it a try.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Pain and Suffering: Healing and growing through acceptance

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Kahlil Gibran What a powerful statement. We’ve all heard the phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” right? I suppose that is true, but I do not like the negative connotation, because my literal mind interprets that to mean that great suffering is always negative or that some form of death is imminent. Suffering and pain are a natural part of life. Stuff happens. Life happens, and we cannot control that. We can, however, control how we view life and what we make of our experiences. We can accept the lot we are given and not only make the best of it, but move it the direction we want it to go.

If out of suffering emerge the strongest of souls, then perhaps we need to reach deep down to decide how to use the difficult periods in our lives to build our character and emerge from the ashes stronger, more powerful and ready for action. We all have our own story, and if you know me personally or follow this blog, then you know that I’ve had a significant amount of life change in the past couple of years. Much of that change arose from profoundly painful decisions and experiences, but those were necessary in order for me to find my way to where I am now.

I used my pain as the impetus to start my new life. I will not say I have been able to to this with grace and dignity every step of the way, but I do my best every day given the circumstances and the resources I have (energy, emotional intelligence, time, strength.) I believe scars show as reminders of what we have learned, and will fade over time. I also believe, however, that the challenge is to keep the scars from hindering our ability to continue to move, as some scar tissue does after injury or surgery. This is a strong metaphor. If we leave our painful experiences in place and do nothing to massage, stretch or heal the damaged ares, we will eventually lose some of our mobility.

When the physical body sustains an injury or is recovering from surgery, there are three distinct stages of healing: Acute Inflammation, Repair and Remodeling. I compare the emotional and spiritual healing process to the physical, because I believe that the mind, body and spirit are interconnected, and frankly, linking our emotional healing to something tangible like tissue repair can give us hope and focus. The end of a relationship is an excellent example of the need for healing and recovery.

Almost everyone has experienced the loss of a relationship, either by their own choice or by the other person’s choice. It hurts, is often a blow to the ego and emotions, and can take some time to recover.

Stage 1. Acute Inflammation. This is the time immediately following injury. When a relationship ends, there is a period of pain, sometimes experienced as anger, hurt, frustration, sadness or some combination thereof. As with physical injury, this is very normal. The immediate response is pain, swelling, heat and redness. Inflammation is an imperative part of healing because it helps defuse the toxins to allow the healing process to begin. Plainly stated, we have to feel the injury, the pain, swelling of emotions, and discomfort in order to rid our system of the toxins and negativity that would otherwise fester into something far worse and potentially more damaging. As inflammation decreases, the repair process can begin.

Stage 2. Repair. Damaged structures begin the repair process by forming new connective tissues. This is a fragile time when the injury should not be touched. Only gentle stretching, beginning slowly, and gradually building in intensity over time. At this point, the healing process is building toward remodeling, the final stage.

There is always a period of time after a relationship ends when we need to get ourselves right before we “move on” to another relationship. There is no definite timeframe for this, but we all know we need to take the time to heal, work on figuring ourselves out, learning what we need to learn. This is the time when we are most fragile, and as with physical healing, it is recommended that you allow yourself to heal before hitting the ground running again.

Stage 3. Remodeling. This is the time when you need to take a more active role in your healing. Damaged tissues can be “remodeled” thru a series of range of movement exercises. How fantastically symbolic! Once you have experienced the pain of the injury, given yourself time to feel the pain, allowed the inflammation to push the toxins out of your system, gently eased back into life - into a more active role in your recovery - then you can really remodel and reshape your life.

Taking into account the natural healing process, we can treat difficult times as we would an injury or recovery from surgery by taking this attitude: “Here I am, what now?" or, "It is what it is, now what?” We accept that something has happened, and now we need to recover from it. How do we best do this? It seems for the most part that we readily accept a physical injury and the need to heal from it, but emotionally and spiritually, this presents as a larger challenge. If we change one thing, our perspective, and just accept that we need to heal and move forward, we will already begin to grow in the right direction.

“In the difficult are the friendly forces, the hands that work on us.” - Rainer Maria Rilke

We have the real opportunity to live fully, with deep meaning and fulfillment. We can all get there with acceptance, love and faith. Allow the hard times to help shape the amazing path in front of you. Let yourself feel the pain, let it flow, and then take an active part in your recovery and keep moving forward. As you travel in this amazing journey called life, you will encounter bumps, twists and turns; this is your time to make that jagged path into something beautiful.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Playin’ it Cool, True Blue

Have you had a day/week/month where you just cannot remember which day it is, and yet, all is well? Yeah, That's been my experience the entire month of November. I've been in such a state of gratitude, enjoying the moment, working my way thru some new plans to improve programs and to expand my coaching and speaking business. So, I sometimes forget which day it is. I truly believe that life is a journey, and rather than worry so much about the destination, we would be wise to keep in the moment. Wherever your final destination may be, enjoy the journey.

"Voyage upon life's sea. To yourself be true. And, whatever your lot may be,          paddle your own canoe." - Sarah Bolton

So, as you contemplate your journey, and possibly forget which day it is, keep a few things in mind:

• Life is a journey
• Enjoy the scenery
• SLOW DOWN...
• Breathe deeply, and often
• Smile
• Say “Bless you” when someone sneezes
• Envision what you want from life, believe that you deserve it, and occasionally pretend that you already have it
• Know what you want, and go for it - unapologetically
• Help others, even if you don’t have “anything” to give (hold a door open, help someone carry their groceries, pay for the coffee of the next person in line, give an “overly” generous tip to your server, etc.)

Want to have everything you want? Give it away! Forget the day, forget whether you’re there or not, and just live each moment as if it’s the best moment you’ll ever experience in your life. I guarantee you’ll love the life you’re in.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Crystal, “Woo-Woo Magic” and Getting What You Want

“Attention energizes; intention transforms.” - Dr. Deepak Chopra We have heard that whatever we choose to focus on, we enliven and enlarge. Have you ever noticed that when you want something, say a new car, the one you want seems to pop up everywhere? When you’re in a good mood looking for parking, do you notice that the “parking gods” seem to smile upon you and a convenient spot pops up for you? How about if you thought about having a baby; did you ever notice how many babies or pregnant women seemed to pop into your existence? The same is true for what we don’t want. Have you ever started your day off on the wrong foot and noticed that everything went wrong?

Often we know what we don’t want, but when asked what we do want, we struggle with the answer. I sometimes hear from new clients how things seem to keep going in the wrong direction, particularly in certain areas of their lives. For some, it is around relationships, for others, money. For some, it is recapturing their health in the form of a healthy weight, physical fitness or simply the energy to complete daily tasks in their busy lives.

What happens when we become mired in thoughts around what we don’t want is that we attract more of what we don’t want. Simple enough, right? Taking a not-so-big logical leap, we can also say that when we become mired in thoughts around what we do want, we will attract more of that as well. Here is where the “Crystal, ‘Woo-Woo Magic’ and Getting What You Want” comes into play. There’s nothing mysterious or woo-woo about this, really, but it is quite magical. When you focus on what you want, you will attract more of what you want.

The key to really getting what you want is becoming crystal clear about it. The quote by Chopra above states it beautifully: attention energizes; intention transforms. So, before we focus-in on getting what we want, we need to be so clear about what it is so that we can set the intention of bringing it into our lives. There are many schools of thought on how to do this, but to me it is very simple:

1. Dream Big. Ask yourself this: “If I could wave a magic wand and have exactly what I want, how would that look?” Allow yourself to think outside of what you think you ‘ought to’ or ‘should’ have. Go for what you really want and start to envision that. Close your eyes and picture it, in detail. Notice colors, sensations and maybe even smells or sounds.
2. Notice Negativity and Release It. Do not resist the negative thoughts that arise. If you find yourself thinking, “That will NEVER happen! How silly to wish for something so outrageous!” do not resist the feeling. Acknowledge it, allow it to flow thru and out, and then make a choice to either believe the negative thought or not to believe it.
3. Take Action. Once you know what you really want, don’t worry too much about drawing-up the plan. When you know what you want and set your intention, the “how” and the steps needed make themselves very clear. Does this mean to not get organized or use plans? Not at all, but if you are clear on what you want, then even the making of the plan gets you closer to your dream. Take one step toward your goal or dream every day. Break it down, be inspired, tap-in to your vision and your intention, and watch your dream move closer to you every day.

This is the “woo-woo magic” of the Law of Attraction, Law of Intention and Law of Least Effort combined. You don’t need to understand or even pay attention to these laws. Just keep in mind that whatever we choose to give attention to, we enliven.

So, dream big, set your intention and take action. It’s that simple.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

(Photo credit: http://hopeinvain.com)

Learning to Fly - a personal note from Tracy

I wanted to share something personal with you this week - a learning experience worth sharing. I have been digging deeper in my own personal development work, and encountered some deep-seated fears and old feelings that no longer serve me. I have always been quite courageous and willing to take action in spite of fear, but I’ll be VERY honest: I wanted to throw my hands in the air and just run away. Of course, that feeling only lasts for a fleeting moment, but in getting to ‘that place’ and allowing myself to feel the feelings associated with the thoughts, I discovered a strength I had yet to fully tap into - the ability to let go. To really let go. To allow myself to explore the worst fear, visualize what that might bring me, how “bad” it could possibly be. The feelings associated with the fear were enlightening; I discovered that I had developed the habit of holding tension and negative feelings in my body. I also discovered intense anger when I allowed the feelings to bubble-up. Once I allowed myself to feel which feelings and emotions were attached to the thoughts and fears, compassion and tenderness overtook me. From that compassion came the release. I felt for the first time that I had let go of the hold I had let the past have on me that was keeping me from reaching some of my goals, and worse: kept me from believing I deserve to achieve them.

Have you ever wondered why you “can’t” get past something, or why you’re not able to reach your goals fully, or why things “keep happening”? It is entirely possible that you have not released the thoughts AND feelings that aren’t truly aligned with who you are today. We often go to therapy, work thru our past and think we should be prepared to go flying straight ahead... This is not usually the case.

Though it’s not easy, there is a simple process you can work thru to learn how to let go and set yourself free. I would love to share this with you, and am thinking about setting up a FREE Google Hangout or webinar where we can visit with one another and share ideas, insight and solid methods for reaching our highest potential. Always the coach and healer, I want to share these simple steps with you. Stay close. Information is coming.

If you are interested in speaking with me directly, reply to this email or contact me for a FREE 30 minute consultation. I reply within 2 business days, if not sooner, and I’d love to speak with you.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

I’m SO MAD! Re-direct your power to move forward

“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.” - Mark Twain Modern psychology tells us that anger is a secondary emotion rooted in an unmet need, or an immediate response to a primary emotion. It is a response to physical or psychological pain. Anger is powerful and can be used to a positive or negative end. When we feel angry, the brain downshifts to a lower emotional and evolutionary function. Anger is a survival tool that has evolved from the highly effective fight-or-flight response in primitive times when large animals posed a real threat to humans.

If anger is a survival tool, but a secondary response, how can we use it to benefit ourselves and those in our lives? In general I believe that we need to identify the feeling and work with it; but that is a bit simplistic. However, there is something to it. Rather than digging deep into your psyche, I would like to offer a way to re-program your response to anger, and help you re-direct your energy when you feel it lifting it’s head and rising in your body.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” - Buddha

Repressed, prolonged anger is very unhealthy. Some studies show that anger can lead to a weakened heart and stiffening of the arteries. Liver and kidney damage and high cholesterol have been inked to prolonged anger. It can also cause accompanying issues, including depression and anxiety.

To protect your health and wellbeing, it is vitally important to understand your own triggers. Immediately preceding anger, you might feel:

• afraid
• attacked
• offended
• disrespected
• forced
• trapped
• pressured

This is a pretty good list to help you understand the origins of anger. When I look at the list of primary feelings, I see a common theme: loss of power. When I reflect upon my own anger, I see that when I feel angry, it is always associated with feeling powerless. In these moments, the fight-or-flight response kicks in and I feel my heart rate increase, tension building in my body and the need to strike out or get away from the situation or person that has caused this feeling. I openly admit that I do not always practice what I am about to preach, but every time I do, I feel empowered and in control of my own emotional wellbeing. If you want to feel better, be more in control of your overall wellbeing, then try the following when you feel angry:

Stop Everything. Take Mark Twain’s advice: take a breath and count. This will help stop the trigger from taking full effect and traveling the same pathway as your old reaction. Re-direct your rapid response to the initial emotion, which probably stems from something in the list above. When you quickly stop the response, it gives you time to alter course. If your old emotional response is anger, denial, sadness or some other less productive means, this is an excellent start. If you do nothing more from here, you’ve already made an incredibly relevant change in your life.

Find an Outlet. You’ve counted to four, ten, one hundred, maybe even cursed... Now what? Perhaps the anger has built-up as tension in your body and you need to release it. Sometimes we need to move our body to “get it out.” Stop everything, announce (if appropriate) that you feel angry and need to get some fresh air, then go take a walk. You might feel like you need something more forceful than walking. Try punching pillows or a mattress. You might consider taking a boxing, kickboxing, martial arts, dance, yoga or bootcamp class.

If you are vocal and you need to let it out with your voice, scream into a pillow - a primal release. Your throat might feel a little sore, but you will release it. You may need need a more cerebral activity. Try singing, listening to music, writing, painting, drawing, meditating, or anything that brings you relief. Enroll in a class to learn something you’ve always wanted to learn. Perhaps you can find a cooking, art, music or writing class.

Practice Compassion. Be forgiving and patient - with yourself and others. Cut yourself some slack. Try seeing things thru the eyes of others, particularly when you feel angry toward someone. Imagine yourself behaving badly, ask yourself what might cause you to be rude, thoughtless, reckless, etc. Perfection is not the goal; feeling better is. Gaining an understanding of who you really are, having a say in the direction your life takes is what you want, isn’t it?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” - Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Along the way, you will no doubt have moments when you want to place blame, stuff-down or externalize your feelings. You have been wronged, you feel a sense of injustice, someone has hurt you or someone you love. This is normal, and you are not alone. However, when you take a moment to stop your automatic, pre-programmed response to wrongdoing, you will begin to find your power. Your feelings will feel safer, you will have more control over your life and you will feel better.

If you take-up a new activity to fill-in the negative spaces with positive activities and thoughts that facilitate a new outlook, you will see your life open up before you. When you take yourself out of your old patterns, you are already making a positive change in your life. You have the power to do this. Re-direct one thought at a time. Rome was not built in day, and neither are healthy habits. You are a work in progress, and construction can sometimes be messy, loud and disruptive. However, if you keep your eye on the prize and recognize the small changes along the way, you will also experience the joys along the way.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Supporting References:

http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/life/human-biology/anger2.htm

http://counselingdelosreyes.com/Anger_Management/Understand_Anger.htm

What to do When You Don't Know What to do: A helpful guide to decision making

“Never try to solve all the problems at once - make them line up for you one-by-one.”  - Richard Sloma Do you ever need to make a decision and feel stuck? Sometimes we have several decisions to make at once, or a larger problem that feels insurmountable, and all we want to do is crawl back into bed and pull the covers over our heads. Who has not been there? I sure have, at least once, and maybe even twice. OK, I have probably been there a lot more than twice, but I digress...

When we are faced with a problem or a very important decision, why is it that we often go into a state of panic, overwhelm, denial, blame, avoidance or procrastination? There are a number of possible reasons, including, but not limited to: fear, lack of self-confidence, buying-in to others’ influence (good, bad or indifferent) or a sincere lack of knowledge about the subject at hand. As a regular human being, I can say I’ve experienced all of the above, and even had a touch of that as recently as last week. As a success coach, however, I will pose the following for you to consider:

It is what it is. So what? Now what?

1. It is what it is. OK, ‘it’ has happened or presented itself. So there it is, in front of you, the elephant in the corner. You can close your eyes and pretend you don’t see it, but you already saw it, you can sense it, and you have an acute awareness of it’s presence. If it is an event from the past, then you are now facing it in the present. Whatever the case, accept that it is there; it just is.
2. So what? What do you want to do about ‘it’? Is it life-threatening? If so, you know what to do, right? Call 9-1-1, run away or protect yourself somehow. But, it is likely NOT threatening your life, and it is now time to decide what to do. How would you like the outcome to look? Is your desired outcome specific and realistic? Is it in-line with your core values? Decide what you really want to do about it.
3. Now what? What are you willing to do about it? What action steps are you willing to take right now to achieve the end you desire? Decide what you can and will do, then break it down and devise the plan to get to the end you picture.

Once you have worked your way thru the above thought process, now create momentum. Put your action plan into action. If the plan seems too grand, break it down into smaller steps, and then take the easiest or most logical step. If you still feel stuck, take a step back and examine with softer eyes; notice that it is not as large as you once perceived. So, with soft eyes and a smaller task at hand, take a step.

Still daunting? Work backward from the end result to where you are now and figure out what makes sense or what is easiest to do first, and then take a step. As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know at the moment... If it doesn’t turn out right, we can modify as we go along.” You can always modify the plan if the trajectory ahead looks like it’s not going toward the end you envisioned, but you must get started.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have gotten caught-up many times in the process of analyzing the problem or the multiple possible solutions rather than doing something to pave the path to the solution, either for fear of failure, or quite possibly for fear of success. So, do something, anything to create momentum. You are smart, experienced and perfectly capable of changing course if you discover that the plan you execute is moving you in a direction that does not contribute to your overall wellbeing.

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” - Edwin Louis Cole

One thing is certain: if you choose to stay in one place, you will remain in that place. If that is uncomfortably comfortable, then it is time to make a change, take the decision that feels right, or take the decision that feels uncomfortable and pushes you beyond your comfort zone. When you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, you will grow. How you envision your success will expand and you will begin to make decisions effortlessly, and the work will feel effortless, no matter how “hard” it is.

It’s not about a task “being easy” but the feeling of effortless draw as you begin to create momentum. Momentum is your friend, if you create it. There are times when we need to fix our eyes on the desired outcome, and that will propel us forward. However, there are plenty of times in life when we simply need to get started. The best way to get started is to think about and envision the goal, and then create a plan from there (and note that thinking about the outcome, envisioning the goal and creating the plan are steps taken, so you have already created momentum.) Once you have a plan, you can adjust as necessary, but in order to get anywhere near the finish line, you must take the necessary steps and keep going. Remember the “Little Engine That Could”? She kept moving forward, with a positive attitude, believing that she could do it, saying to herself, “I think I can...” Well, I KNOW you can, so put one foot in front of the other, create forward momentum and keep going.

When we become crystal clear about what we want, focus on creating the path, and then take the path, we can achieve anything.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.