How Do You Show Up? Refine.

“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes reality.” ~ Roy L. Smith

When I was growing up, my parents and teachers seemed to use the word discipline interchangeably with punishment and consequences, and I used to have a visceral reaction to people telling me that if I wanted something, I merely needed to discipline myself enough to practice my craft every day. Now that I am “all grown up” and have some perspective, I agree wholeheartedly (now that I’ve gotten over my teenaged self’s knee-jerkiness). I’m here to share with you that if you understand why you want what you want, then the simplest way to achieve is to first make the decision, commit, make some adjustments and, finally, refine your habits. In my mind, excellent habits means committing to a certain amount of discipline.

Over the past few weeks I’ve written about making the decision, committing and making adjustments to how you choose to show up. We understand that it takes 21-35 days to create a new habit, so I hope that you have been taking some time every day to practice how you show up, and when necessary, revisit why you made the decision you made (to show up strong, confident, peaceful, etc.)

In my coaching practice, my clients learn a lot about habits. You see, the more we practice our new and good habits, whether for lifestyle, career, or relationship success, the faster we reach our goals. Practicing a new habit is a way to replace an old habit that no longer serves you, and to create an effortless draw toward the success you crave. Simply put: make your own life easier every day by making powerful choices to change your life.

In the interest of keeping it simple, I am offering an easy way for you to refine your choices in how you show up.

3 Steps to Refining Habits:

  1. Choose one new habit. Commit to work and focus on that for 30 days. Of course, there will be other things you will work on, but really focus on and commit to that particular one (eg., taking a deep breath before you speak - every time).
  2. Write it down every day. Breathe life into it by writing it down, or by speaking it out. This renews your commitment to it, and is a disciplined practice.
  3. At the end of the day, celebrate your achievements. At the end of each day, review your day, and make sure you celebrate that you have practiced the discipline of breathing life into your new habit. You can simply say, “I did it!” and that is a celebratory acknowledgement of your success. It IS that simple.

Give this a try. Share your journey with me by leaving a comment below. I would love to hear from you and celebrate YOUR success!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

Are you ready to refine your choices? Want to go beyond blogs and videos? It would be my pleasure to set aside an hour to share a powerful coaching consultation with you. Click here to schedule your call.

“Refining is inevitable in science when you have made measurements of a phenomenon for a long period of time.” ~ Charles Francis Richter

Do YOU Experience Growing Pains? How Do You Know?

How do you know when you are experiencing growing pains? Young children often experience pain in their legs, the cause of which is difficult to pinpoint. Because growing pains is not actually a medical condition, doctors call it a “diagnosis of exclusion”. Excluding other potential maladies or injuries is the first order of business, and by exclusion, many parents find that their child is experiencing the general muscular discomfort referred to as “growing pains”. Consensus in the medical community is that bone growth does not cause pain. However, many children experience more growing pains during the rapid growth stages, into early adolescence. It is understood is that many children experience these pains after a very physically active day, and often for several days and nights in a row. Most doctors agree that the treatment for growing pains is a warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC, if you will (insert winky smile at clever reference to my initials.)

If we piggy-back on a child’s experience of growing pains and the doctor’s diagnosis of exclusion, we may apply this to our own experience as adults. Have you ever gone through a difficult time, and yet all other variables seem to be in place? I certainly have. There have been times when I’ve felt stressed, afraid and overwhelmed, and yet so much good stuff was happening in my life. By process of elimination (or exclusion), I often find that during these times, I am experiencing growing pains - a general discomfort associated with a sustained high level of activity.

Think about it. We grow and stretch, and stretch a little more, and leap and stretch, and duck and dodge bullets, and deftly maneuver around roadblocks every day. When you experience an unexplained sense of discomfort, or possibly pain, which could manifest in the forms of sadness, anger, frustration or apathy (however fleetingly temporary), it is helpful to run through your personal checklist of needs, unmet needs and possible adverse health conditions if you have any. If you turn up empty handed, give a nod to the idea of growing pains. Perhaps you have been so active that your whole being needs to rest and recuperate.

The doctor’s diagnosis of growing pains, and the parent’s remedy is simple: rest, warm compress, massage and cuddling - a little TLC. We often barge ahead in life, rapidly barreling forward, without taking a moment to address some of our basic needs. We all need TLC, love, a massage and the equivalent of a warm compress. Reach out to those who are close to you. Ask for some extra support in the form of kind words, a listening ear, a hug or thoughts/prayer. At the same time, be kind and compassionate with yourself. Make sure you have attended to your needs. Pushing through the pain is sometimes recommended, and sometimes rest and recuperation are just what the doctor ordered. Know yourself well enough to distinguish what you really need.

If you want to learn more about establishing the mindset for growing thru your growing pains and achieving blissful success, schedule your COMPLIMENTARY 30 minute consult.

I am here by your side on your journey, cheering you on, applying the warm compress, and offering a lot of TLC. Know that you are fully supported in your dreams, and you WILL manifest them!

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

SUCCESS: You get to choose

Today I really wanted to write something flowery about how you deserve an exquisite life, and I believe that. However, for the last several days, I have been home with a sick kid, got the same virus and now am looking out the window at freezing rain. Frankly, as loving and nurturing as I am, I’m just not feeling it today. So, you get a gritty-for-me, sassified chat. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook lately that feel very judgmental and remind us that we’re responsible for our own happiness AND misery, to stop making excuses and that have a strong tone of “you only have yourself to blame,” etc. Here’s the deal: shit happens. Life happens. There are times when it seems things won’t go right, and there are times when life feels heavy. It’s what we choose to do with these times that really matters.

So, life happens. Life sometimes feels heavy. There are times when you won’t be able to make it to the gym, you will miss your meditation or you will eat or drink the “wrong” stuff. If you choose to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater, then you are choosing that. That is one choice. I will ask you this, and I know I’ve used this analogy before, but it works: if you are wearing a white shirt at a party and a drop of red salsa falls on it, will you pick up the whole bowl of salsa and pour it down your shirt? If you do, bravo/a for making a Powerful Choice! And if not, that is also a Powerful Choice (wink, wink).

You see, whatever you choose, even if you choose to walk in circles and not make a decision, you are making a choice. It is simple. When life throws some crap at the fan and it’s blowing all over, you get to choose: let it hit you, turn and run, grab an umbrella and cover up, or walk around the friggin’ fan and pull the plug. YOU are in command of your life. YOU get to choose how things will go down once they happen, and frankly, THAT is what really counts.

Here are 3 simple steps to deal with Life Happening:

  1. Breathe. When life happens, stop what you are doing and take a deep breath. Breathe in thru your nose, hold it for a second, and then breathe out thru your nose. Focus on your breath. When you breathe like this (in yoga: ujjayi pranayama) you do a number positive things for yourself, including bringing yourself into the present moment, lowering your blood pressure, slowing down your heart rate, releasing tension and keeping yourself from any knee-jerk reaction that may be associated with old programming that no longer serves you, if it ever did.
  2. Allow feelings. We often make the mistake of rushing to feel better in the moment of Life Happening. Sometimes we need to switch gears to un-do old programming, but often what we are really doing is stuffing-down our feelings and burying them. To quote a powerful book: feelings buried alive never die. Whatever we stuff down will ultimately back up on us. If we understand that we feel first, then think, then emote, it is easier for us to learn to breathe and rest-in to our feelings and allow whatever we feel to actually be felt. From there, we can heal. Also, remember that feeling feelings and expressing emotions are very different. In the moment you feel something, you get to choose what to do with it.
  3. Make a choice. After you take a deep breath (or 3, or 10) and have allowed yourself to feel what you feel, you get to make a choice. Choosing is a form of taking action. You may simply choose to change your attitude, and that is action. You may choose to change something - make an apology, forgive yourself or someone else, or rearrange your closet. Whatever you do, make a solid choice, and the universe/god/your source/your higher conscience will conspire to meet you where you are in that choice.

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.”      - Unknown

Whatever you choose, you will do it in a powerful way, and it will be the right thing, even if the outcome is not what you expected or thought you wanted. You see, life happens. Life brings us exactly what we need, when we need it, and we get to choose to experience it as a learning opportunity or as a heavy burden that makes us miserable.

I know you will choose wisely and you will choose whatever you need most, even if you are not fully aware of why you are making the choice.

Blessings. Gratitude. Love.

P.S. It’s still January, and I’m still offering FREE GOODIES. Have you asked me for a freebie? If not, why not? Contact me, and make sure you leave your name & email in the box at the TOP RIGHT of this page so you get your first batch of free stuff. Make sure you ASK ME for more free stuff!


Mind, Body & Spirit

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  ~ Teilhard de Chardin

In Western culture, we are now beginning to understand the importance of the physical, emotional and spiritual connectedness of overall personal wellness. I believe that in order to be well in one area - for example, physically - all other areas must also be well. How does one achieve this overall wellness?

Let’s break it down by category to give a brief overview of each, and then tie the three parts together to complete the picture.

Physical Wellness - Physical body, appearance, health, mental state: Food, quantity and quality of sleep, exercise, hydration, physical health, stress management, dis-ease prevention and management.

Emotional Wellness - Thoughts, self-love and appreciation, emotional intelligence: Self-reflection, self-perception, perception of others, communication, managing expectations and capacity to love unconditionally, forgive and experience gratitude.

Spiritual Wellness - Religion, faith, belief system: Meditation, prayer, journal writing, positive affirmations, positive thoughts, slowing down, deep breathing and time to oneself.

There are many schools of thought on the origins of dis-ease, but most can be traced to some form of physical tension or stress in the body, which is often caused or exacerbated by emotional distress or discomfort. Whether one believes that specific emotional distress causes specific physical ailments, we all understand that the effects of prolonged stress on the physical body and emotional state can be detrimental to health and wellbeing.

According to the Mayo Clinic, stress can significantly affect your body, mood and behavior. Stress can also contribute to headaches, muscle tension, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, decreased libido, stomach upset, sleep disruptions, irritability, lack of motivation and focus, over- or under-eating, drug or alcohol abuse and anxiety.

Ensuring adequate nutrition, hydration, exercise and sleep is one way to relieve the stress of daily life. While tending to our physical needs, it is also very important to build our tribe of support around us to help us with our emotional needs. Developing a spiritual practice of regular prayer or meditation, deep breathing exercises and yoga or gentle stretching and energy work such as Reike, build the foundation for healing, restoration, and nourishing the body, mind and spirit.**

**As a coach and as a living human being, my approach to all areas of life is holistic in nature. I will only share insights that I believe to be helpful, reminding you to check-in with yourself, your physician or mental health care provider. Sometimes it takes a team of experts to bring us back into balance physically, emotionally and spiritually. When you have the right team in place, you are more likely to reach the level of success you desire. If you have not found answers to your questions, I highly encourage you to keep asking until you find an answer that provides a viable solution that not only meets you where you are, but takes you where you want to be in terms of your physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

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